Are You There God? It’s Me, Shan.

[ 15 ] June 8, 2010 |
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I have a couple questions for you. I’m hoping you can answer them for me, cause I’m kind of confused.

About three weeks ago, my friend found out she had this massive tumor on her ovary. She has no health insurance. The ER doc said it was probably cancer and she would need to have it taken out as soon as possible. Then he discharged her with a referral to a gynecologic oncologist and instructions not to lay on her right side because the tumor was pressing on her vena cava (the main artery to her heart). Nice, huh? Yeah, we thought so too. This was on a Friday night.

The following Wednesday she was able to get a hospital to admit her and take that blasted tumor out of her the next morning. We were all very happy. A week later we found out that Spike, this is what she named the tumor, was not cancerous. We all breathed a collective sigh of relief.

But you know all of this already.

So I decided to do a fundraiser for her because she wasn’t going to suddenly be able to afford insurance and I knew she was going to have to pay for this herself. And it wasn’t going to be cheap. In fact, the bills so far, and not all of them are in yet, are over $60,000. She needs some help. No government agency will apparently help an extremely ill married Mother of 3 who’s husband owns his own construction business and works from home making a part time salary because she cannot work outside the home due to other medical ailments.


She and her husband pay their bills, take care of their family, pay their taxes, but can’t catch a break with medical insurance. Doesn’t seem right, does it?

Anyway, the fundraiser. We decided that an auction would have the best chance of getting the most attention and donations. So I set out to put one together. We decided that it would be held on a site dedicated just to Brandy, so I bought a theme and started designing and customizing. I started to get offers of donations of auction items and help. It was amazing. So now there were posts to write up that would give each item good exposure and increase the chances of high bids. It was a daunting task.

I knew it could not be done by me alone.

So I contacted a few people who said they would help. We made a game plan, started to execute it and then POOF! all three of my backups had some issue that prevented them from helping me get this thing off the ground. I thought I had planned for every contingency.

I had THREE people for back-up. THREE.

I had backup plans for my backup plans

So, WHY did you have to make EVERY person who was helping me get the auction up have some kind of issue that prevented them from doing so?

Now we did finally get the auction up and running without many major glitches. And it seems to be going OK. But still.

First, Jenna was in the ER several times last week, which, by the way, it would be really cool if you gave these docs some wisdom and made them actually HELP her get better instead of just giving her ineffective meds and sending her home.

Just sayin’.

Second, Victoria got slammed at work and then had a family emergency she had to attend to…two nights in a row.

Third, Amanda had lightening storms and tornado warnings in her area that required her to disconnect all electronic equipment which meant she could not use her computer. Ergo, no internet, no ability to help.

Then my FireFox browser kept shutting down on me.

Every. Five. Minutes.

I was trying to do it all. I really was. But tasks that should have taken a couple of hours were taking all freaking day.

And night.

I have not slept more than a couple of hours since last Wednesday night.

I want this to go well. I want to actually help my amazing friend. All of us do. But things like this, the making me the walking, talking, breathing manifestation of Murphy’s Law is getting kind of old. I know nothing will ever be perfect or go off without a hitch. That’s why I had backups. I know weird, freaky things always happen to me.

So I planned for it. And you, what? Thought it would be funny to allow this?

I’m sorry, but I just don’t get the joke.

I was trying to help someone. That is what we are supposed to do. That is what you teach us to do. I was doing what you told me.

Again, I ask, was it really necessary to decimate all my backups at the same time? Couldn’t you just have left me one? Just one? That’s all I needed.

Amanda and Victoria were able to help at the 11th hour. Poor Jenna has been trying her best to help but her health is far more important and she needs to focus on that now. I want her to focus on that right now.

And Jess. Jess came in and helped out right when I needed her.

It was funny because they would all go to sleep and I was still up. They would wake up, check their email and find that I was still up working on the auction. Amanda IM’d me “GO TO BED. Morning shift is here.” 😀 Jess called me at 5:15 am and told me to go to bed, she would take over. These are wonderful people I am proud to call my friends. I do thank you for putting them in my life. And dear, sweet Victoria. Oh she felt badly that she couldn’t help out more. I was just happy she even wanted to help.

I thank them all from the bottom of my heart for helping. I thank you for Brandy not having cancer.


I still want to know why you did that to my support crew. Really. I want to know.

Were you just conducting a little experiment? Trying to…I don’t know what. Do you get bored sometimes and just do this kind of stuff? I am not trying to be insolent, I just want to know. And can I please ask a favor? We may run a couple more auctions for Brandy. Do you think you could just lay off the implementation of Murphy’s Law on me for a bit?

Thanks. I appreciate it.

**Do I really have to say that this is sarcasm for people to get it? Really??? Damn.**

Category: My Opinions

About the Author ()

I'm Shan and I 'm the creator of The Asylum and a magnet for The Free Range Stupid™. I'm a little nutty, a lot sarcastic and pretty damn smart. I am also a graphic designer, blog coder, virtual assistant, free lance writer and can whip you up a killer resume, media kit or press release that would make others green with envy. Go to Skewed Design Studios to check out my services. You won't be disappointed.

Comments (15)

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  1. Alison says:

    I hope he listens to the next time something important comes up he’ll leave you alone and go bother some other person for a little bit.

  2. erin says:

    I dont think God did that to your support crew? He doesn’t hurt people that way – I imagine he’s a busy guy. Life just happens. I think we should just be thankful that Brandy’s tumor is not cancerous.
    erin recently posted..Balloon Time – A Party Must-Have #winMy Profile

    • Shan says:

      Erin, this post is meant to be very tongue-in-cheek. LOL It was a Murphy’s Law kind of thing. And I am so incredibly thankful to know that Spike was not cancerous. The first thing I did when I found out was thank God for that miracle. And I continue to thank him several times daily for that and many other things in my life. Seriously, I don’t think it was done on purpose by God. It was just my attempt at sarcasm, humor and my twisted sense of humor.

  3. sarah says:

    Hope he listens and leaves you alone soon

  4. eve says:

    Great post- Murphy sucks!
    eve recently posted..Affirmation MondayMy Profile

  5. Chelsea says:

    You’re a great friend for doing all that you’ve done for Brandy. She is lucky to have you in her life.

  6. Jenn@FFP says:

    It’s proof of what kind of friend you are! Most people would have quit in the face of those obstacles but your pressed on in the name of helping a dear friend in need. You should be proud.

    I almost hate to say this but it is further proof that what doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger! ;D
    Jenn@FFP recently posted..Decadent. Fudgy. Chocolate-y. Rich. BrowniesMy Profile

  7. Victoria says:

    Shan – so proud of you and you are NOT Murphy’s Law. Maybe the universe is trying to tell us we should hold a different type of fundraiser? Maybe we could do a lingerie calendar or something… just sayin’…

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