This is why we need to move out of California:

Not only is everything uber expensive, but it’s filled with idiots who don’t know how to properly use decimal points.

Just Another Wordless Wednesday…{California Gas Prices} is a post from: Last Shreds Of Sanity | Blog Designer | California Mom Blog

The Diva did a fundraiser at school for Easter. It was See’s Candy. She sold a lot. Well Daddy made his co-workers buy a lot. She won a great prize. I had laid all the candy out on my bed so I could mark who’s candy was which and Zoe, the beautiful-but-demon-possessed-cat decided that it was all his.

Go ahead, try to eat some candy…I dare you…

For more Wordless Wednesdays/Wordful Wednesdays, please visit 5 Minutes For Mom, and WordlessWednesday.com {HQ}

Just Another Wordless Wednesday…{Damn Cat Held My See’s Candy Hostage} is a post from: Last Shreds Of Sanity | Blog Designer | California Mom Blog

As many of you know, I have an intolerance for The Free Range Stupid and they are attracted to me like flies on shit. No joke. I have joked many times that if I ruled the world, things would run much smoother and my friends agree with my statement. So in an effort to perpetuate my Bohemian Fantasy and bring it into {virtual} reality, here is some things I would decree as Ruler of the Universe:

Any loud noise made before 10am or after 9pm on any day, especially weekends and holidays, would be punishable by either a public stoning or the offender being forced to listen to the full Carpenters library in a sound proof room at high decibel for a period of six months – one year, depending on the severity of the offense. Punishment will be the choice of the law breaker.

Banda music would be outlawed for time and all eternity. Offenders would be shot immediately.

Letting your animals run the streets at all hours and/or letting them get into your neighbor’s yard on a constant basis would be punishable by forced work cleaning up all excrement from their neighborhood daily for one year, while wearing a sign saying “My dog shit in your yard because I’m a bad pet owner. Let me clean that up for you while smiling broadly and sincerely”.

All things Emo, Screamo and sparkly vampire related would be outlawed for time and all eternity. As well as boys wearing Emo bangs and colored skinny jeans that are more appropriate for girls to wear.

Bullies and gang members would be shipped to a deserted island and told to learn to get along. Or don’t. We’ll check on you in six months.

Politicians who lie or break campaign promises would be sent to impoverished areas to live for 5 years and made to get real jobs and try to make it like real people do everyday. At the end of the five-year period, they must speak in front of the public and tell us what they have learned and how they plan to fix the issues for real this time.

All forms of intolerance, except that of The Free Range Stupid, would be banned. Those who do not want to play well with others would be shipped to another island where they can be intolerant with all the other bigots.

Stay At Home Moms and Work At Home Moms would get a salary, yearly cost of living increases, five sick days per month and three weeks paid vacation annually. Men who tell the SAHM’s “Why couldn’t you get it done, you have all day?!?!” would have their penises removed and not returned until they get what being a SAHM or WAHM truly entails.

All citizens would have access to proper medical care without it causing financial hardship or resulting in substandard care.

Health Insurance and Pharmaceutical companies who care only about their healthy bottom line would be a blur and a bad memory.

Those truly responsible for the mortgage meltdown would be sentenced to life with hard labor. Yes, I’m talking to you, Nancy Pelosi and your band of Liberal Idiots.

It would be legal to maim The Free Range Stupid.

If I Ruled The World, Things Would Run Much Smoother is a post from: Last Shreds Of Sanity | Blog Designer | California Mom Blog

No, this is not an April Fool’s joke. I am going to try to post something everyday for the next month…like I did when I first started this blog. Back when I could write engaging and humorous posts easily. Those of you who have been readers since the beginning will remember those…That’s what NaBloPoMo is all about.

The theme for April is sprout. Sprout can mean many things, such as:

sprout–verb (used without object)

1. to begin to grow; shoot forth, as a plant from a seed.

2. (of a seed or plant) to put forth buds or shoots.

3. to develop or grow quickly: a boy awkwardly sprouting into manhood.
–verb (used with object)

4.to cause to sprout.

5.to remove sprouts from: Sprout and boil the potatoes.
–noun

6.a shoot of a plant.

7.a new growth from a germinating seed, or from a rootstock, tuber, bud, or the like.

8.something resembling or suggesting a sprout, as in growth.
—Synonyms

1.  spring, bud, burgeon, develop.
sprout  (spraʊt)  — vb  (often foll by up )

1. (of a plant, seed, etc) to produce (new leaves, shoots, etc)

2. to begin to grow or develop: new office blocks are sprouting up all over the city

— n

3. a newly grown shoot or bud

4. something that grows like a sprout

5. See Brussels sprout, titivate    esurient puissant    superlative

[sprout] –verb (used without object)

1.to begin to grow; shoot forth, as a plant from a seed.

2.(of a seed or plant) to put forth buds or shoots.

3.to develop or grow quickly: a boy awkwardly sprouting into manhood.

–verb (used with object)

4.to cause to sprout.

5.to remove sprouts from: Sprout and boil the potatoes.

–noun

6.a shoot of a plant.

7.a new growth from a germinating seed, or from a rootstock, tuber, bud, or the like.

8.something resembling or suggesting a sprout, as in growth.

Origin:1150–1200;  (v.) Middle English spr ( o ) uten, Old English -sprūtan,  in āsproten  (past participle; see a-3 ); cognate with Middle Dutch sprūten, German spriessen  to sprout; akin to Greek speírein  to scatter; (noun) Middle English;  compare Middle Dutch, Middle Low German sprute

—Related forms

non·sprout·ing, adjectivere·sprout, verbun·der·sprout, nounun·der·sprout, verb (used without object) un·sprout·ed, adjectiveun·sprout·ing, adjective

-Synonyms

1.  spring, bud, burgeon, develop.

»Related Words for : sprout

bourgeon, burgeon forth, germinate, pullulate, shoot

— vb  (often foll by up )

1. (of a plant, seed, etc) to produce (new leaves, shoots, etc)

2. to begin to grow or develop: new office blocks are sprouting up all over the city

— n3.

a newly grown shoot or bud

4. something that grows like a sprout

5. See Brussels sprout

[Old English sprūtan;  related to Middle High German sprūzen  to sprout, Lettish sprausties  to jostle]

Medical Dictionary

1 sprout definition

Pronunciation:  /ˈspra u̇ t/

Function: vi:  to send out new growth :  produce sprouts

endothelial growth factor…has been shown to spur blood vessels to <>sprout

2 sprout definition

Function: n:  a new outgrowth (as of nerve tissue) resembling the young shoot of a plant

of the axon above the injury…produce new <>sprout s

Slang Dictionary

sprout definition

n.    a child. :  A little sprout came up and tried to sell me a ticket to a game.

This blog started as an idea, a sprout of a thought, if you will, and I intend to try to get back to my roots using this month long challenge.

Wish me luck, y’all.

I Am Attempting NaBloPoMo For The Month Of April is a post from: Last Shreds Of Sanity | Blog Designer | California Mom Blog

Look closely at Santa’s eyes…does he not look like he is stoned? Methinks Santa was toking on the ganja with the elves behind the toy shop.

Doesn’t The Diva look adorable? I loved that dress because it reminded me of a big Christmas present.

And no, the stoned elves did not make the picture look this good. Mommy did it with her own two wittle hands.

For more Wordless Wednesdays/Wordful Wednesdays, please visit 5 Minutes For Mom, and WordlessWednesday.com {HQ}

Just Another Wordless Wednesday…{Santa Was Stoned} is a post from: Last Shreds Of Sanity | Blog Designer | California Mom Blog

1. The Social Frog 2. The RockerMom 3. Katrina @ Prov 31 Mom & Wife

4. valmg @ Mom Knows It All - Linky 5. valmg @ From Val's Kitchen - Linky 6. Pat. @ Here And There - Linky

7. OneDay - The Morning After 8. Charlene 9. You're next!

The week before Thanksgiving I had this adorable little Pilgrim.

The night before Thanksgiving, I got a precocious Smurf.

And this is also why The Diva will never get her paints again. HEH. Thanks Crayola paints. I appreciate it.

For more Wordless Wednesdays/Wordful Wednesdays, please visit 5 Minutes For Mom, and WordlessWednesday.com {HQ}

Just Another Wordless Wednesday… is a post from: Last Shreds Of Sanity | Blog Designer | California Mom Blog

1. Katie Talks About...

2. You're next!

Today I am starting a new meme, Music That reminds Me Of… {insert season/holiday/special occasion here}

We are starting off with Autumn, because it is one of my two favorite seasons. Oh, yeah, and today is the official first day of Autumn. So that was rather serendipitous, wasn’t it?

Music is oftentimes a very visceral thing for me. Lyrics and melody have meaning and can transport me to another space in time altogether. I am one of those rare {Bizarre ?} people for whom memories are very real and tactile. So real, that a recollection can make me see, feel, taste and smell whatever was in the environment that that remembrance was created in. It is very emotive for me.

Autumn and Winter make me happy. I love cool, crisp, overcast days. Rain is one of my favorite sounds in the world. And I love the way the air smells after a good downpour. So clean and fresh. If we had a Spring, I suppose I would love that as well, but we don’t have a real one to speak of. And I cannot stand Summer. Heat makes me sad, bitchy and angry. It does not help matters that we currently live in a house with no central air.

I have always loved Fall. I guess it may be because of all of the movies, TV shows and books I read as a child and teen that always so perfectly described Autumn, that it made you feel like you were there yourself. All the good girl movies come out in the Fall and are usually set in that season as well. Plus I live in SoCal where Autumn is only something you see in pictures and on TV. I have always wanted to live in New England with a huge front yard filled with piles of Autumnal leaves that I can jump into.

Yes, I’m weird. Suck it. You love me anyway.

If you would like to join in, just copy the button from this post and make sure you link back to me. Then sign the linky so others can visit your interpretation of  the music that reminds you of Autumn.

<a href=”http://lastshredsofsanity.com” mce_href=”http://lastshredsofsanity.com” title=”Last Shreds Of Sanity: Music That Reminds Me Of…”><img src=”http://lastshredsofsanity.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/09/Music-That-Reminds-Me-Of1.png” mce_src=”http://lastshredsofsanity.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/09/Music-That-Reminds-Me-Of1.png” /></a>

On to my songs…

I love crooners…Sinatra, Deano, Harry Connick, Michael Buble, Norah Jones…there is just something about that genre of music that makes me want to be all warm and snuggly while listening to it. Easy days, watching a grey sky get darker…that’s my kind of life.

My favorite singer/songwriter is Van Morrison. How can you say you are a music lover without liking his music? He is amazing.

Van Morrison – Into The Mystic

Bill Withers – Ain’t No Sunshine

Frank Sinatra – I Get A Kick Out Of You

Norah Jones – Shoot the Moon

For my brown eyed girl…

Van Morrison – Brown Eyed Girl

Van Morrison – Days Like This

Music That Reminds Me Of…{Autumn} is a post from: Last Shreds Of Sanity | Blog Designer | California Mom Blog

1. caiafacraziness 2. Beth @ Musing Mainiac

3. Not So Average Mama 4. Katie Talks About...

5. You're next!

I am the crazy Cat Lady. We own one indoor cat who is beautiful, but demon possessed. And I feed the strays. It started out last fall with 4 almost adult cats. Then a couple of more got wind that I fed cats every night, so then there were six. Then a couple of months ago, one of them, Mama T, had kittens. Only we didn’t know she was their mama until I found them nursing under a chair on my patio.

I was also trying out my new Photoshop actions and maybe played a little too much with them.

For more Wordless Wednesdays/Wordful Wednesdays, please visit 5 Minutes For Mom, and WordlessWednesday.com {HQ}

Just Another Wordless Wednesday…{Mommy’s Love} is a post from: Last Shreds Of Sanity | Blog Designer | California Mom Blog

1. PippaD 2. Not So Average Mama

3. Southern Bella's Ways To Save 4. You're next!

Oh that Diva of mine….she has her own style to be sure. She loves to dress up in pretty things.

Then go climb a tree or make mud pies.

She is a girly Tom-Boy.

Just like her Mama. Only I was always shoeless. Climbing trees, playing in the dirt…beating up the boys who annoyed me.

Ahhh, to be five again.

We got her a basket for the decidedly boyish bike that Grandma and Grandpa got her for Christmas…before she was two years old! She was pretending to be the paper delivery girl.

Then she was a vampire.

Then she was the Vampire Girl Newspaper Delivery person.

See what I mean?

For more Wordless Wednesdays/Wordful Wednesdays, please visit 5 Minutes For Mom, and WordlessWednesday.com {HQ}

Just Another Wordless Wednesday….{The Many Styles Of The Diva} is a post from: Last Shreds Of Sanity | Blog Designer | California Mom Blog

1. Beth @ Musing Mainiac 2. Katie Talks About...

3. Henrietta @ A Hen's Nest 4. Faythe @GMT w/linky

5. You're next!

Last Wednesday, The DIva started kindergarten. SHe was very excited. Tired, but excited. ANd as any good Mom should, I took pictures. None are teen years blackmail worthy though.

Damn it.

She wouldn’t look at the camera and smile.

But isn’t her outfit adorable? I just love a little girl in plaid. It’s all so dang cute!

She picked frogs for her backpack and matching lunch box. Frogs. I expected TinkerBell.

For more Wordless Wednesdays/Wordful Wednesdays, please visit MomDot.com , 5 Minutes For Mom, and WordlessWednesday.com {HQ}

Just Another Wordless Wednesday…{First Day Of Kindergarten} is a post from: Last Shreds Of Sanity | Blog Designer | California Mom Blog

1. My Life in Jenga-w.linky 2. AutismLearningFelt 3. Beth @ Musing Mainiac

4. Life w/The Leonards 5. Susan 6. GrammyMousetails @linky

7. f55d.com 8. You're next!