It seems like just yesterday that you came into this world, fighting for you very life. In the blink of an eye, you went from a tiny, little baby to being a little lady. Today, you are seven years old — Mama’s Big Girl — amazing, beautiful, smart and often frustrating. You have grown so much in these last years that it blows my mind! It just seems so surreal. I didn’t have any hope of becoming a mother nearly eight years ago, but then I found out I was pregnant with you and my dream was finally coming true. Your daddy and I will sing “Happy 7th Birthday, Baby Girl” later today and wish you all the love and happiness you can handle.

Because that is really what life is all about, love. And kisses. And hugs. You can never have too much of them. And no matter what, even if you’re in really big trouble, we will always love you. Don’t forget that, ever.

I have often thought that the best parts of your daddy and I are alive and well in you. I do think it’s true — except for the attitude part, that needs to dwindle a bit. Sometimes it’s like you’re 7 going on 16. You want to do so much, see so much, all by yourself — I just want you to be my little girl for as long as possible. I don’t want to miss anything. Although I feel as if I already have.

My Angel Girl, I am so proud to be your Mama. You amaze daddy and I every day with your intelligence and silliness. We love you to the moon and back. Always.

So happy birthday, my beautiful girl. May you have a long, happy life and never know a day without love and kindness. And may you always know how to successfully repel The Free Range Stupid™ so that you don’t have to deal with them like your Mama does.

Love Always,

Mama

Happy 7th Birthday, Baby Girl! is a post from: Last Shreds Of Sanity | Blog Designer | California Mom Blog

That is what came out of The Diva’s mouth yesterday, shortly after it came out of mine. Ghetto-assed adult.

Bad Mommy.

You see, yesterday afternoon, as I was going to unlock our gate so that we could go get Daddy from work, I noticed that someone had put a lock on it. One I did not have the key for. We were trapped. I was pissed. This was not funny. If there had been an emergency, we would have died because we couldn’t get out of the yard.

But some ghetto-assed kid or adult thought it would be funny to lock us in.

That wasn’t NOT FUNNY, mother fucker. {If no one gets where this quote is from, I really am getting too old for this shit}

After I got a hold of my hubby at work and he secured a ride home, I called my friend Susan to bitch about this new situation. She asked me “Who would do something like that?” I replied, “Some ghetto-assed kid. Or an adult. We live in the freaking ghetto, Susan.”

The next thing I heard was Miss Ro saying “No, Mommy, it was a ghetto-assed adult. In a big black truck. I saw him.”

Score one for bad Mommy.

Guess it’s better than her throwing out F-bombs, right?

Ghetto-Assed Adult is a post from: Last Shreds Of Sanity | Blog Designer | California Mom Blog

Six years ago today, you were born and my life has never been the same. I am in awe of you, baby girl. You have become a very intelligent and independent little girl. You are so beautiful, I can’t believe you are mine. I guess your Daddy and I make pretty kids, huh?

The first time I saw you, you were hooked up to wires and machines. They wouldn’t even let me hold you until you were eight days old. They told me that you might not make it, so I prayed. And prayed. And prayed some more.

Eighteen days later we finally brought you home.

I still haven’t stopped praying or thanking God for the gift he has given us.

In the last year, you finished preschool, started kindergarten, got a kiss from a boy, learned how to read and write things that amaze me and lost two teeth in one week. There have been a lot of little moments I don’t want to forget. There have also been big moments. Like when you went on your first sleepover, caught your first fish, got an award at school for eloquence…so many things.

Just two nights ago, you announced that you were writing a book. Then you came to me and said, “Mama, I’m an author and an illustrator. Aren’t you proud of me?” And indeed I am, baby girl. You even opened up all of your books looking for the word you wanted to spell before coming to ask me for help. That is one smart girl!

Today, you turn six tears old. You have already told me that now you can do lots of things by yourself because you are a big girl. You are growing up. A little too fast for my taste, but still, you must grow.

I would prefer to keep  you safe under my watch for the rest of your life, but I know you must learn to do things on your own. You must also learn to fail and not give up because of it. That’s how you grow up, by falling down and getting right back up again. Perseverance is the key, my beautiful one. You can never be a failure if you keep trying.

I love you with every fiber of my being and it is because of you that I know what true unconditional love is. Thank you for being my daughter and thinking I am the best Mommy in the whole world. I will make mistakes, as will you, but my love and acceptance of you will never change.

I pray that you have a long amazing life filled with love and happiness. That’s all any mother wants for their child.

I love you to the moon and back.

~Mama

Happy 6th Birthday, Baby Girl! is a post from: Last Shreds Of Sanity | Blog Designer | California Mom Blog

We are the house of phlegm now. And puke. And fevers.

My family has been hit hard with a nasty virus that will not die. It just keeps morphing into something new every two days.

The Diva caught this thing the weekend before last. She had a fever, stuffy nose and cough and was home sick from school Tuesday.  Then again Friday with a recurrence. I caught it Thursday night. Daddy came home sick from work Friday evening. This morning, Miss Ro complained of a tummy ache. All she wanted to do was hug me. I held her for a bit, rubbed her back and then she felt better. She felt good enough to bounce around the house for a little while. Then she came to me complaining of a tummy ache again.

She jumped in my lap while I was sitting at my desk, hugging my neck for dear life. As I was readjusting myself and her for comfort, she hurled. I’m talking projectile, liquid vomit. All over me, herself and my desk chair. I saw everything she ate this morning. Believe me when I say that string cheese and cereal looks and smells much better going in your mouth than out of it.

Her pajamas were toast, as were mine. I cleaned it all up, Febreezed, Spot Shotted and Resolved the crap out of everything fabric from my bedroom to the bathroom, but I can still smell it. I have our PJ’s soaking in the bathtub with baking soda and Oxy-Clean.

But I can still smell it. I feel like crap. The Diva feels like crap. And I am afraid to feed her much lest she hurl all over my house again. Plus, I’m sure that it was rather unpleasant for my girl and she doesn’t want to repeat that again.

But the smell is about to make me toss my own cookies. I have super human nose left over from when I was pregnant and I can smell everything. I can smell old french whore perfume at 200 yards. If you reek, I can smell you. I am not good in public places. I will tell you that you do not smell like a rose. If you stink that badly, I may even hurl on you.

I am a sensitive, delicate flower.

Ok, not really, but my olfactory senses are.

We Are The House Of Phlegm. And Puke. is a post from: Last Shreds Of Sanity | Blog Designer | California Mom Blog

Remember a couple weeks ago where I said The Diva was going to go on her first sleepover? Well that didn’t happen. The little girl’s older brother got sick, so the Grandfather called to cancel at about 3 pm the day we were supposed to do it.

Then I didn’t hear from anyone. I tried calling. No one called me back. I started to think maybe they thought my kid was too weird to associate with their kid and they didn’t want to actually say it to my face. Turns out the whole family got sick and no one was doing anything but laying in bed or puking.

They are all well again and Miss Ro is over there right now, either having a great time or scaring the hell out of these nice people. I’ll find out in the morning how she did. That is, of course, if I don’t get a call to come get her before then.

But right now, I am checking the phone every five minutes just in case I missed a call from her. Or them. And I kind of don’t know what to do with myself. My house is so quiet. I don’t have a child to wrangle to bed or check on before I finally get in bed. I won’t be woken up by her at o’dark-thirty or hear her turn on the TV and stomp around the livingroom while she’s trying to be quiet.

Oh yeah, her tooth still hasn’t fallen out and she won’t let me pull it out the way my parents did to me and my Big Bro. Watch the damn thing fall out while she’s over there.

The One Where I Let Her Go To Her First Sleepover, Part Deux is a post from: Last Shreds Of Sanity | Blog Designer | California Mom Blog

Last Saturday night, The Diva announced that she had a loose tooth.

Her first loose tooth.

She’s very excited. I’m a little weirded out.

I didn’t think she would start losing teeth at this age, but apparently this is all normal. So now I get to play The Tooth Fairy.

It dawned on me yesterday that I had no idea what The Tooth Fairy pays for a lost tooth these days. So I did what any tech savvy mama would do: I tweeted out my question. The answers I got were rather shocking. For a first tooth, she pays around $5. FIVE DOLLARS!

Uh…

When I expressed my sticker shock over this, I was told that the first tooth is a big deal and should get more of a pay out. Subsequent teeth should get between $1-3. I think I got 50 cents for my lost teeth. My Husband says he got a quarter. It did not matter what tooth fell out, we got the same amount. I understand inflation. I understand the kids needed a better return on their investment. But FIVE DOLLARS?? Holy crap, Batman!!

As my friend Jesse said “At $5 my first-born would be in the bathroom with a pair of pliers..” I hear that! Hell, I would have been doing the same thing if she was paying out $5 a tooth!

I’m not sure what to do now, but I better figure it out quick because that tooth will fall out very soon.

So what does The Tooth Fairy pay for teeth in your house? And how long does it take for the tooth to completely fall out once it’s loose? I’m flying by the seat of my pants here. I need a little help, guys.

The Tooth Fairy Pays WHAT?!?! is a post from: Last Shreds Of Sanity | Blog Designer | California Mom Blog

I thought I had more time. I didn’t think I would be faced with this particular situation quite yet. I thought maybe it would happen next year, not in kindergarten. But I have agreed, with great trepidation, to allow The Diva to have a sleepover at a classmate’s house tomorrow night. I am still not sure how I feel about this, but I know that I cannot shelter my baby forever. I have to let her grow. I have to let her experience things outside our little family and sometimes without my presence and watchful eye. With the exception of her stay in the NICU, she has never stayed over night anywhere without either myself or Daddy with her. I’m not sure how to deal with this new activity.

According to my friend, Amanda, I am feeling all the normal Mom fears about my baby sleeping at someone else’s house. The little girl is very sweet and her grandparents, whom she lives with, seem nice and normal. The Grandfather even invited us over to check out the house before the sleepover. Amanda says that people who have something to hide won’t offer that kind of inspection. I’m still not sure, but My Husband says it’s alright with him, so here we are.

Or rather here I am.

A little scared. A lot out of my comfort zone. And worried.

The Diva isn’t exactly normal. And while her idiosyncrasies are all at once endearing and frustrating to us, I don’t know how this family will perceive them. Or her. What if they think she’s weird? Or she has a meltdown? or she can’t sleep because it’s not her bed and she misses her Mama? What if she gets made fun of because of something she does at their house? Will that irrevocably damage her? What if she gets hurt?

What if she doesn’t miss me?

What if she has the best time ever and she starts comparing their house to ours? Or the other little girl’s toys to hers? What if she wants to stay there forever because it’s so much better than our house? Or she likes the grandparents better than us?

What if…?

And here I am.

Still.

My baby is growing up and friendships and sleepovers are a part of every little girl’s life. I know this. And I want her to have them. I loved sleepovers. I had many slumber parties as a girl. They were lots of fun. Nearly every weekend, I had a friend stay the night. And we bonded. And we laughed. And we did girl stuff.

I want this for The Diva, I do.

I just thought I had more time before I had to make this first decision. She’s only five. Well, almost six, really.

I made the mistake of blinking.

Just for half a second.

And here we are.

She’s growing up.

In the blink of an eye.

Tomorrow she spends an entire night away from everything she has ever known. She is so excited that she can’t stop talking about it.

And Mama has knots in her stomach.

The One Where I Let Her Go To Her First Sleepover is a post from: Last Shreds Of Sanity | Blog Designer | California Mom Blog

Look closely at Santa’s eyes…does he not look like he is stoned? Methinks Santa was toking on the ganja with the elves behind the toy shop.

Doesn’t The Diva look adorable? I loved that dress because it reminded me of a big Christmas present.

And no, the stoned elves did not make the picture look this good. Mommy did it with her own two wittle hands.

For more Wordless Wednesdays/Wordful Wednesdays, please visit 5 Minutes For Mom, and WordlessWednesday.com {HQ}

Just Another Wordless Wednesday…{Santa Was Stoned} is a post from: Last Shreds Of Sanity | Blog Designer | California Mom Blog

1. The Social Frog 2. The RockerMom 3. Katrina @ Prov 31 Mom & Wife

4. valmg @ Mom Knows It All - Linky 5. valmg @ From Val's Kitchen - Linky 6. Pat. @ Here And There - Linky

7. OneDay - The Morning After 8. Charlene 9. You're next!

I realize it’s after Christmas, but I was busier than a one armed man in an ass kicking contest last week so I didn’t have time to post these pictures and videos. But Christmas is my favorite holiday and I look at it as keeping the Christmas feeling going a little longer.

Without further adieu, I give you The Diva’s school Christmas program video and a couple cute pictures.

I hope you all had a very merry Christmas and I wish you all a happy and healthy New Year.

The Diva’s Christmas Program 2010 is a post from: Last Shreds Of Sanity | Blog Designer | California Mom Blog

The week before Thanksgiving I had this adorable little Pilgrim.

The night before Thanksgiving, I got a precocious Smurf.

And this is also why The Diva will never get her paints again. HEH. Thanks Crayola paints. I appreciate it.

For more Wordless Wednesdays/Wordful Wednesdays, please visit 5 Minutes For Mom, and WordlessWednesday.com {HQ}

Just Another Wordless Wednesday… is a post from: Last Shreds Of Sanity | Blog Designer | California Mom Blog

1. Katie Talks About...

2. You're next!