I Got Your Funny Right Here!: Swimsuits, Blonde Jokes And A Trunk Monkey

[ 2 ] June 1, 2009 |
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In this episode of I Got Your Funny Right Here!: Swimsuits, Blonde Jokes And A Trunk Monkey. It’s a mish-mash of funnies.

Enjoy!

Yes, swimsuit season is upon us. Damn those designers for thinking that you must be a size 2, stick thin and built like a 10-year-old boy to wear a bathing suit! GRRR!

 


***Clothing designers, please note: Curvy girls like to go swimming and sunbathe, as well. I would really like to see some of you fit into one of your own “creations”, feel comfortable and look good! How about designing clothing for REAL WOMEN??? Oh, sorry, that would mess up your “vision” and the “line” of the garment. My bad.***

 

Well isn’t this quite funny! I Googled my nickname and this is what came up:

Shan

[shahn, shan] Show IPA –noun, plural Shans, (especially collectively) Shan.
1.    a group of Mongoloid tribes in the hills of Burma.
2.    a language spoken in the Shan States and belonging to the Tai group of languages.

Shan

(shän, shān)
n. pl. Shan or Shans

A member of any of a group of tribes inhabiting the hills and plateaus of northeast Myanmar (Burma) and adjacent parts of China, Laos, and Thailand.
The Tai language of the Shan.

adj. Of or relating to the Shan or their language or culture.

Shan⋅non

[shan-uhn] Show IPA –noun
1.    Claude El⋅wood [el-wood] Show IPA , 1916–2001, U.S. applied mathematician: early developer of information theory.
2.    a river flowing SW from N Ireland to the Atlantic: the principal river of Ireland. 240 mi. (386 km) long.
3.    international airport in W Ireland, near Limerick.
4.    a female given name.

Shan·non

(shān’ən)
A river, about 386 km (240 mi) long, rising in north-central Ireland and flowing generally south and west to the Atlantic Ocean through a long deep estuary.

I am named after the river in Ireland. Although my dad used to tell me that my name meant “overflowing river”, not the real meaning which is “small, wise”. Wise? I think so. Small? Not so much.

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I found this at Infertile Myrtle’s place.

A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.After becoming very frustrated with the “no haggle” attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, “Maybe I’ll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!”

The shopkeeper said, “By all means, be my guest. Maybe you’ll luck out and catch yourself a big one!”

Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator. Later in the day, the shopkeeper is driving home, when he spots the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he sees a huge 9 foot alligator swimming quickly toward her.

She takes aim, kills the creature and with a great deal of effort hauls it on to the swamp bank. Lying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper watches in amazement.

Just then the blonde flips the alligator on its back, and frustrated, shouts out, “Dang it, this one isn’t wearing any shoes either!”

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Have you ever seen these commercials for the Trunk Monkey? They are hilarious. I actually saw them a few years ago and laugh my ass off each time. Enjoy!

 

I wonder what would really happen if the internet just up and died one day….

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Category: I Got Your Funny Right Here!

About the Author ()

I'm Shan and I 'm the creator of The Asylum and a magnet for The Free Range Stupid™. I'm a little nutty, a lot sarcastic and pretty damn smart. I am also a graphic designer, blog coder, virtual assistant, free lance writer and can whip you up a killer resume, media kit or press release that would make others green with envy. Go to Skewed Design Studios to check out my services. You won't be disappointed.

Comments (2)

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  1. Cute stuff!! Love the internet crashing, lol!!!!!

  2. LadyStyx says:

    *laffz* omigoodness on that net one!!

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