Liar! Liar! Pants On Fire!: Small Talk Six

[ 18 ] April 4, 2009 |
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This week, MomDot is asking us to reveal 6 of the worst lies you’ve ever told…Well, aren’t we all about revealing everything lately??

Here goes nothin’…

1) When I was a teen, I told my parents that I was spending the night at a friend’s house, when we were really going to a party.

2) I faked Braxton Hicks a few times while I was pregnant so that my Husband would have to take care of me because I was exhausted and didn’t want to move. {I never had any Braxton Hicks Contractions. Ever.}

3) I have told my In~Laws that we didn’t have a birthday party for The Diva so I didn’t have to invite them to the party and deal with their particular brand of crap. I have also made up stories about why we were late to family get togethers because I wanted to spend as little time with them as possible.

4) When The Diva was a baby and fresh out of the NICU, her Pediatrician told us that everyone had to wash their hands before touching/holding her until further notice. He also instructed us that for the first month, only immediate family could hold her {Her immune system was still weak}. This offended my In~Laws greatly. They were certain that it was me who made the rule, not the baby’s doctor and therefore refused to wash their hands. When my Husband and I insisted, we were informed that we {I} were/was being overprotective and certain members of the family eventually refused to acknowledge our daughter’s existence. For this reason, I continued to tell everyone that that they had to wash their hands before touching her because she had a depressed immune system. For 3 years. {She did , in fact, have a depressed immune system, just not for as long as I told some people she did.}.

5) When I was about 19, my husband ~then boyfriend’s~ manager at work convinced me to play an April Fool’s Joke on him by telling him I was pregnant. In the break room. On our lunch. With the manager looking on from the other side of the room. He was in total shock. It was kind of funny. TO US. My Husband, on the other hand, was not amused {We kept up the ruse for about 3 hours}. In my defense, my Husband was always playing jokes or getting one over on others and no one could ever “get him good”. Guess I accomplished that one, huh?

6) When I worked security at our local mall, I wanted a vacation. Bad. I was working almost full~time and going to college with a full load. I was tired. I had never taken a single sick day in almost a year of working there. So, I called my boss and said that my Grandfather had taken a turn for the worse {He really was in the hospital at the time} and that my Mother and I were leaving for a week to go back East to see him in case he passed away.

OK, there are my big ol’ nasty lies. Happy now???? I swear, I am not going to get out of blogging without exposing all those damn skeletons I buried!

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Category: Memes

About the Author ()

I'm Shan and I 'm the creator of The Asylum and a magnet for The Free Range Stupid™. I'm a little nutty, a lot sarcastic and pretty damn smart. I am also a graphic designer, blog coder, virtual assistant, free lance writer and can whip you up a killer resume, media kit or press release that would make others green with envy. Go to Skewed Design Studios to check out my services. You won't be disappointed.

Comments (18)

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  1. Carrie Ella says:

    I can relate to #1. As a teen, I told my mom I was spending the night with my girlfriend. My girlfriend told her mother she was spending the night at my house. Together, we went to a party and spent the night with our boyfriends. Shameless!

  2. I don’t get why your in-laws would refuse to wash their hands. Even if it was only your request, they should respect your wishes. I’m glad that Diva is over her depressed immune system.

  3. Heather says:

    Your inlaws sound like a real joy to have around. #2 made me laugh pretty good! That’s totally awesome!

  4. Kim says:

    We came up with the same title! lol

    I was feeling pretty exposed today too, so don’t feel alone! lol

    My Small Talk Six

  5. Kimmie says:

    We came up with the same title! lol I was feeling pretty exposed today too, so don’t feel alone! lol< HREF="http://thepacifistmom.blogspot.com/2009/04/liar-liar-pants-on-fire-at-small-talk.html" REL="nofollow">My Small Talk Six<>

  6. Lisa says:

    oh my your inlaws sound just about as good as mine ! That reakky is messed up that they wouldnt want to wash their hands specially considering that baby was in NICU !

  7. Kristina P. says:

    Your inlaws sound like a piece of work!

  8. Miss Behavin says:

    I can relate to #1. As a teen, I told my mom I was spending the night with my girlfriend. My girlfriend told her mother she was spending the night at my house. Together, we went to a party and spent the night with our boyfriends.

    Shameless!

  9. Vanessa says:

    Maybe we all lie as teens. We should keep that in mind for when we have our little ones become teen I guess, huh?

  10. I am LOL at #5, that is a good one!

  11. ChicagoLady says:

    Only skeletons? I’m thinkin’ there might be a body or two somewhere, lol.

  12. I would be too scared to do #2 and #6, just because I would feel like I was tempting fate. 😛

  13. I would be too scared to do #2 and #6, just because I would feel like I was tempting fate. 😛

  14. LadyStyx says:

    *shakes head sadly at the relatives*

  15. Staci says:

    I’m with you on #3, I try to avoid the in-laws at all costs!

  16. ~ Kathy ~ says:

    I bet my “outlaws” will give yours a run for their money….Thank goodness My Hubby has WONDERFUL inlaws….lol

  17. Katt says:

    I bet my “outlaws” will give yours a run for their money….Thank goodness My Hubby has WONDERFUL inlaws….lol

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