Mother Nature STILL Has PMS

[ 3 ] November 8, 2010 |
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I believe I did a post about this, right about this same time last year. In fact, I know I did. Apparently Mother Nature does not want to cure her severe PMS and would rather torture the poor souls who live on this Earth. So nice of her, eh?

The last couple of weeks have been odd. One part of the week it will be cold and raining and the other part is nearly 100 degrees! We are having 30 degree temperature differences. It’s bizarre. I am now convinced that Mother Nature is having hot flashes because she is going through The Change, not PMS.

That’s right, I said it. Mother Nature is an old broad.

And she needs to own up to it, get some HRT and stop taking her hormone fueled rage out on us little people.

It’s November. NOVEMBER.

You know….WINTER?? Thanksgiving? Christmas? A time when the stores are selling sweaters & fluffy blankets to warm yourself up with? A time when you are supposed to be cuddling by the fire instead of feeling like you are in one?

Yes, that time of year, dear.

As it stands right now, your hot flashes have me so discombobulated that I don’t even feel like it’s holiday time. I usually am making lists, getting my decorations out and gearing up for Christmas by now.

However, I don’t even feel like it’s really November because it feels more like July with you and your damn hot flashes!

This week has started off cold and rainy, but we’ll see how long that lasts. Last year it was 90 degrees on Thanksgiving. I could really do without that again. I like it cool. Cold, even. I would prefer snow, but since I live in SoCal, that ain’t going to happen.

I have begged you to stop this on more than one occasion. I’ve bargained. I’ve begged you to go have your hot flashes in the areas where people despise the cold. I have cursed you with empty threats, all to no avail.

This time though, no more Mrs. Nice Guy. I’m telling Santa about your abhorrent behavior towards the unsuspecting inhabitants of this planet. I truly hope he brings you coal for your stocking this year. Along with a never ending prescription for hormone replacement therapy. Maybe then you will start to do something about your hot flashes and leave us all alone to enjoy the seasons as they should be…minus your horribly ill timed hot flashes.

Why don’t you stick that in your pipe and smoke it, K?

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Category: My Opinions

About the Author ()

I'm Shan and I 'm the creator of The Asylum and a magnet for The Free Range Stupid™. I'm a little nutty, a lot sarcastic and pretty damn smart. I am also a graphic designer, blog coder, virtual assistant, free lance writer and can whip you up a killer resume, media kit or press release that would make others green with envy. Go to Skewed Design Studios to check out my services. You won't be disappointed.

Comments (3)

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  1. I know what you mean. I live in the SOUTH….get that…SOUTH. It was 31 when I left for work this morning and I had frost on my windshield.
    Karen (Stillmagnolia) recently posted..Writing is a Passion of MineMy Profile

    • Shan says:

      I know. You guys are supposed to be cool this time of year not freezing. We are supposed to be cold. Last night and for the next few nights we have a frost advisory but it’s 80 degrees in the daytime.

      Strange, no?

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