Summer is nearly over and the Autumn is about to begin. It is my time for reflection. This is the time of year I love. The season is about to change, the kids are going back to school, the world slows down a bit and I start to reminisce about my life and what has happened in the last year. The cooler temperatures, changing leaves and shorter days have always lent themselves to introspection. Sitting near a window, wrapped in a blanket, watching the rain fall…it’s inevitable.
I am also inundated with sense memories.
You know the ones I’m talking about…the memories that slam right into you and bring you back to a moment in time most people have forgotten. Or wish they could forget. The things that trigger these memories in me are sometimes strange.
The theme to a beloved sitcom.
The chill in the air.
A piece of clothing.
An old song.
Getting my daughter ready for school.
All of these things can, and have, caused the most visceral memories in me that I sometimes think I am so very different from the rest of the world. I can smell, taste, see and feel that moment as if it were happening for the first time. It’s more than déjà vu. It’s as if I suddenly transported through time back to that very incident.
Doesn’t anyone else have this same kind of reaction?
I’m just odd, I guess.
But this is what Autumn and Winter do to me. I think about what the new year will bring. I make goals. I look forward to Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas. I wonder at how fast my daughter is growing up. I fear if I take my eyes off of her, if just for a brief second, I will have missed something important. I ponder redecorating/rearranging/reorganizing my home and decorating for the coming seasons. I also reflect on what I have gone through this past year: friendships forged and lost, family drama avoided or plopped directly in my path, mistakes made, lessons hopefully learned.
I make plans and I promise myself I will not make the same mistakes in the future. Sometimes I feel doomed to repeat my transgressions, but mostly I am thankful for what I have learned from them. Even when that lesson was a battle within myself and humbling.