Swimming, Sinking, Floating

[ 1 ] July 2, 2011 |
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Swimming, sinking, floating. That is my life. Just getting my head above water, then having it pushed under again by some unseen force. Coming up for air and floating for a bit, then repeating the cycle all over again. I’m afraid I may not come up for air one of these times.

It’s annoying. It’s exhausting. I want it to stop.

Is it me? Am I causing it or am I cursed somehow?

I want a simple life. I want to swim when I want to, dive under when it suits me and enjoy the freedom of floating in the water at my sole discretion.

How do I do this? Or more importantly, why won’t the Fates let me?

Is it my lot in life to struggle for the smallest scrap of anything? This is what keeps me up at night. This is why my sleep is so fractured. This is what haunts me in my dreams.

I want to make it stop.

 

 

Category: Thoughts

About the Author ()

I'm Shan and I 'm the creator of The Asylum and a magnet for The Free Range Stupid™. I'm a little nutty, a lot sarcastic and pretty damn smart. I am also a graphic designer, blog coder, virtual assistant, free lance writer and can whip you up a killer resume, media kit or press release that would make others green with envy. Go to Skewed Design Studios to check out my services. You won't be disappointed.

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  1. Michael says:

    no.
    it’s like that for everyone.
    just until we understand that we can’t live normal life.
    we really can’t, you just understood that there is something that won’t let you just swim whenever…

    we have a role in this world, for people like you, to make all of the others realize that only by connecting to others we can really live the normal life we are all looking for.

    I hope what I wrote down makes sense in anyway.

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