Things The Diva Said {Or Did}…

[ 10 ] October 18, 2010 |
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It’s been a while since I did one of these posts. The ones where I announce to the world the crazy things that come out of my amazing daughter’s mouth. But she has said some things lately that made me {and whoever I may be on the phone with at the time}, spit out whatever I was drinking at the time and laugh out loud.

So, here ya go….

“Mama, why do I have butt cheeks?” {I was on the phone with my good friend Susan, at the time. She almost died laughing.}

“Mama, don’t drive so fast. My horse is tied to the car and she can’t keep up.”

“Mama, what is that noise?” {Birds singing} “Why are they doing that? I’ve never heard that before!” {It was the ass-crack of dawn and we were getting in the car to take Daddy to work. She hasn’t been awake that early in a long time. Or outside to hear the birds sing to the sunrise. She then started to sing like a bird herself.}

“Mama, I don’t like gravy. Or mashed potatoes.” {This is not something that should be coming out of my child’s mouth. She is Southern, Irish AND Hispanic! She should love all things potato and gravy! Luckily, she did want as many green beans as would fit on her plate, so that is something at least.}

“Mommy, I’m glad you are serving me” {Uh…}

“Mama, are you connected to your book?” {I was reading Late, Late At Night by Rick Springfield. The first adult book I have been able to read since I was pregnant with her. No joke.}

Well, I like the book that’s why I’m reading it, baby.

“Oh so it’s like when I was in your tummy but now I’m a big girl but you’re still connected to me, huh?”

Yes baby, that’s right.

Ro, stop fidgeting and stand still! “I can’t, Mama. My legs are out of control. Watch. See? I can’t make them stop.”

“Daddy, I need you!”

For what?, Daddy asks.

“I need you to get me the remote.”

Get it yourself, I say.

“I can’t, it’s not next to me”

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Category: The Diva, Thoughts

About the Author ()

I'm Shan and I 'm the creator of The Asylum and a magnet for The Free Range Stupidβ„’. I'm a little nutty, a lot sarcastic and pretty damn smart. I am also a graphic designer, blog coder, virtual assistant, free lance writer and can whip you up a killer resume, media kit or press release that would make others green with envy. Go to Skewed Design Studios to check out my services. You won't be disappointed.

Comments (10)

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  1. So cute!!! This may seem odd and well My Rowan is a bit odd, but when he was around 5 years old we were sitting at the dinner table and in all seriousness he looked at me and said “Mommy, is someone chopped off my hand, I wouldn’t be able to sign my name.” I think my hubby busted a gut laughing.
    Bethany Larrabee recently posted..Tween Boy Birthday Bash – YOUR LIFE IN COMICS- 100 THINGS FOR GUYS TO WRITE AND DRAWMy Profile

  2. Heather says:

    hysterical – just like her mama πŸ˜€
    Heather recently posted..How to Transfer your WordPress blog from GoDaddy to HostgatorMy Profile

    • Shan says:

      Why thank you, Miss Mama. The apple doesn’t fall that far from the tree. Although, in my Big Bro’s case, it kind of did. We have always worried about him. πŸ˜›

  3. Oh how funny. I have heard many of those same comments in varying forms. Absolutely precious! Thank you so much for sharing.
    Karen (Stillmagnolia) recently posted..GirlfriendsMy Profile

    • Shan says:

      LOL I guess it’s universal with kids. But oh my God she can say things that will make you spit out whatever is in your mouth or stop you in your tracks trying to figure out if she just said what you think she said. πŸ˜€

  4. Family of Seven says:

    These are priceless! I love the things kids say…and yet, when I sit down at my computer to blog about it, I can never remember everything I wanted to write about…I really REALLY need to start taking notes!

    • Shan says:

      That is exactly why I haven’t done one of these posts in so long…I would always forget the brilliantly funny things she said. πŸ˜›

  5. LadyStyx says:

    Loved the butt cheek one. Just wait until she corresponds farts to butt cheeks clapping. I heard THAT one from a first grader in the school I used to work at. I learned very quickly that when that particular kid was around, eating and drinking was not a good thing.

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