Open Letters, Dear…

[ 18 ] November 21, 2008 |

SITS Friday Link~Up Fun

My open letters~~~

Dear Advertising Campaign Managers,

Will you please stop raping my formative teenage years by using bad versions of my favorite 80’s songs to advertise stupid products? It’s bad enough that I have to hear some elevator muzak version of “Melt With You” emanating from my television set, but to then find out it is advertising Taco Bell’s new Cheesy Melt is disturbing, to say the least!

I mean, come on, Bob Seger & John Mellencamp already sold out “Like A Rock” & “This Is My Country”, respectively, to be used in Ford commercials, do you have to go and kill my NuRo/New Wave songs too? What’s next, Social D’s “Mommy’s Little Monsters” for baby products or “Ball & Chain” used to advertise erectile dysfunction medications? I’ve already endured “Don’t Stop” being used by Bill Clinton! Give me a break!!

What happened to coming up with original jingles? It seems that creativity in advertising has gone the way of Rap/Hip-Hop music…not an original riff in the bunch!! While you’re at it, could you put a little truth back in your advertising? There is not an 80 year old man alive who is going to pop a little blue pill & go home with a 22 year old Playboy bunny! Unless said 80 year old man is Warren Buffet (Billionaire) or Hugh Hefner!

I swear, if you use a Rick Springfield song in anything, I will spam the crap out of your websites & prank call you until the cows come home (I have a flat rate long distance plan, so this will not cost me a dime!)!!!!

Dear Mr. Bill Gates,

Would you please take those commercials touting Windows Vista as Mohave off the air? No matter what you call it or how many people you pay to say “It’s a wonderful OS!”, Vista still sucks! If you call it Mohave, it still sucks. You cannot put lipstick on a pig & call it a beauty queen…it’s still a pig! Get all your brilliant minds up there in Seattle to build an OS that does not shut down for no reason, does not go stupid every 20 minutes & freeze up on me, does not fight against my web browser & that does what it is supposed to do…make my PC run smoothly & efficiently.

If you cannot do this very soon (I will give you until my birthday, so you have 3 months), I will be forced to either switch to Linux as my OS or go get a Mac. I know I probably should have done this in the first place, considering you stole Windows from Steve Jobs/Apple, Inc. oh, so many moons ago. Haven’t you learned yet that copies are never as good as the original?

I thought you were supposed to be a genius????!!!


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Category: My Opinions

About the Author ()

I'm Shan and I 'm the creator of The Asylum and a magnet for The Free Range Stupid™. I'm a little nutty, a lot sarcastic and pretty damn smart. I am also a graphic designer, blog coder, virtual assistant, free lance writer and can whip you up a killer resume, media kit or press release that would make others green with envy. Go to Skewed Design Studios to check out my services. You won't be disappointed.

Comments (18)

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  1. Pamela says:

    Oh My gosh!! I can so relate to both of those letters…especially the one about Vista! I have it and it soooo sucks!

    Pamela from SITS

  2. Pam says:

    Oh My gosh!! I can so relate to both of those letters…especially the one about Vista! I have it and it soooo sucks!Pamela from SITS

  3. I don’t know what makes me more sad and disturbed.. the songs or the shows on VH1 that show us our teen idols as they look now.. OH RICK SPRING FIELD WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?

    lol

  4. Hey there. Loved your letters! So true, everyone is sampling in hip hop (which though are usually the only ones I like because of that) and the 80’s is everywhere. My hubby makes fun because I was not a huge 80’s fan. Maybe ‘cuz my heart got broken too many times. Who knows. Hah. have a great day and I am SO happy you enjoyed my place.

  5. Angela says:

    Hi! Just stopping by from SITS —

    Very passionate letters! I’m with you on the advertising song thing. Why don’t they write good little jingles anymore? I hate it when I’m listening to the radio and a song comes on and I’m like…oh, that’s the song that advertises *insert brand name here*!

  6. wenderful says:

    Visiting from SITS. Great letters! I agree with you. The 80s did have the best music, I guess you just can’t top it. 🙂 It would be nice to hear something original though.
    And, Holy Toledo! I have not kept track of Mr. Springfield. He is looking mighty fine these days!!!

  7. Kelly says:

    once you go mac you never go back! trust me. i heart my mac! not one crash, not one freeze up, not one “… has experienced and error and needs to close” in the year and a half i have had my macbook. go with mac!

  8. Great letters! To this day, I still cannot listen to Don’t Stop by Fleetwood Mac.

    My IT dept at work installed Vista and we really haven’t had many problems with it at all. My computer here at home won’t handle it, so I’ve stuck with XP until I HAVE to get a new computer.

    I do love the Mac/PC commercials though, they are hysterical.

  9. Heather says:

    For me the final straw was the first time I heard the new car commercial featuring David Bowie’s Space Oddity as the music. Not sung by Bowie, but some realllllly annoying chick, too.

    ARRRRGHHHHHH!

    Though, the original song for the current Toyota campaign – that “Saved By Zero” song – drives me batty.

    Soon it will all be holiday songs anyhow! 😀

    Cheers SITSta! You have an absolutely gorgeous blog!!

  10. So Sweetcheeks, how do you REALLY feel???

    And I’m so gonna kick your ASS if you don’t get rid of that word verification thingy!!!! It is irritating!! I don’t have one and I don’t get attacked, so please, cut the cord!!!!! k?

  11. great minds think alike…i think we should boycott ALL advertising companies!! 😀

  12. great minds think alike…i think we should boycott ALL advertising companies!! 😀

  13. Shan says:

    Thank You all for the comment love!!

    Pamela: See, I'm not the only one! LOL

    DiPaola Momma:

    OK, not sure if you are being facetious about my man or not…but did you look at my sidebars? Did you not see the gorgeous pics of this man?

    Oh, I am all a-flutter! Click on the pics of my fine RS & check out his website. You can even hear samples of his latest CD, Venus in Overdrive. Great album, really!!

    But, yes some of our teen idols have not aged so well…or they have had so much botox/plastic surgery that they look inhuman! So very sad.

    Live, Love, Eat: Yep, the 80's were the era of the power ballad!

    Angela: Remember the cool jingles…"You deserve a break today…", "What's the best tuna? Chicken of the Sea", etc.

    wenderful: Rs is very fine…go check out his site!

    Kelly: I have heard that about the Macs, too.

    C.L.: I get a little nauseous feeling in my stomach every time I hear "Don't Stop" now…DAMN YOU BILL CLINTON!!

    Heather: Yeah, a non-Bowie Major Tom/Space Oddity being used for a car commercial is just ..annoying! No originality anymore.

    black betty: yes great minds DO think alike! Thank you for noticing!

    Queenie Jeannie: A virtual ASS kickin'?? WOW!! That ought to be interesting!! LMAO

  14. Megan says:

    Oh I am so with you on them both! I just mute commercials as to not hear ruined music.

    I won’t even get started on Vista as it took me nearly 25 minutes to get my Vista functioning correctly. *sigh*

    Happy Friday!

  15. “Haven’t you learned yet that copies are never as good as the original?”

    Awesome how that applies to BOTH letters you wrote.

    Happy SITS Open Letter day!

  16. So…..

    Have you been attacked by the fierce spam robots yet?????

    =)

  17. Veggie Mom says:

    I blame technology for all our woes, advertising and otherwise, so both your letters make a lot of sense. Hey there, SITSta! I’ve got a Great Giveaway Goin’ On over at my place. Please drop by when you get a chance!

  18. Aunt Julie says:

    I blame technology for all our woes, advertising and otherwise, so both your letters make a lot of sense. Hey there, SITSta! I’ve got a Great Giveaway Goin’ On over at my place. Please drop by when you get a chance!

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