Ramblings, Ruminations & Sarcasm From The Half Way Sane

[ 15 ] December 4, 2008 |
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Ramblings…My daughter keeps gleefully ripping the heads & arms off her Polly Pockets~esque dolls, then showing me how they go back on…well almost always go back on anyway. Does this mean she is going to be a famous doctor or scientist? Or does it mean that she is destined for intense, lengthy psychotherapy (on top of what my Mothering skills will cause) by the time she is a teenager, lest she become a sociopath or serial killer?

She also likes to eat hand & body lotion & Aquaphor Ointment. Go figure…

Ruminations…Three people were killed on Black Friday while shopping. WTF????? Since when did Christmas shopping become a bloodsport? Two men shot & killed each other in a Toys ‘R Us in Palm Desert, CA, after their female companions came to bloody fisticuffs over a toy. They had children with them. Again, WTF??? Who brings a gun to a toy store? Was that 79 cent piece of plastic, assembled by a 9 year old in a sweatshop in China, worth your life?? Or traumatizing young children & their families?

At a Wal~Mart in Valley Stream, Long Island, NY, a security guard was trampled to death by insane shoppers as the doors were opened for their “Blitz Line”. Are you freakin’ kidding me?? What in the Hell was in that store that was worth killing a 34 year old man over? As far as I am concerned, every person who stampeded through that door is a murderer.

It was reported that employees who tried to help the security guard were trampled themselves. It was also reported that, when the announcement was made that Wal~Mart would be closing because of the death, customers began to scream & complain that they had been in line since Thursday morning! I am completely dumbfounded.

Wal~Mart is evil & must be destroyed!!

Please stop this crap, people!! Is this what we have become? The whole human race concerned only with how much we can get our grubby little hands on for the cheapest price & who cares how we come into possession of said material goods? Does anyone wonder why so many other countries & religions hate us so much that they want to kill us? I am truly sickened by this.

Christmas is about the birth of our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ, not who has the most crap.

Sarcasm…Late Night Television…Oh, How The Mighty Have Fallen! 60’s Peace, Love & Freedom Icon, Peter Fonda has succumbed to age & commercialism & done an infomercial for Time Life’s Flower Power CD Collection. The same man who reveled in his “Easy Rider” rebel status, the “tune in, turn on & drop out” movement (let’s not forget lil’ sis, Hanoi Jane) & railed against his conservative father, Henry Fonda’s beliefs, is hawking Hippie Generation music on cheesy paid advertisements wearing “Grandpa” jeans & a bad black leather jacket (the soft like butta kind). Good Lawd!

Dennis Hopper, Mr. I don’t Remember the 60’s cos I Wasn’t All There/Fight The Power/ Kill The Establishment is doing commercials for Ameriprise Financial Planning (with “Gimme Some Lovin'” playing in the background). Ummm, sounds like a pretty “establishment” job there, Dennis. I guess Flower Power don’t pay well enough for retirement, huh?

What are these you ask? Well, in an effort to go green, in all areas of our life, we are going to start taking monthly showers (to save precious water), washing clothes by hand (to save electricity), wearing hemp clothing (more environmentally friendly, but expensive), shunning electricity (yet another environmentally friendly move) & using a compost bowl for our excrement. We are subscribing to the “reduce, reuse, recycle” mantra, so…they are reusable, knitted tampons! I just hope they are hypoallergenic & wont give me Toxic Shock Syndrome. I have a sensitive system…

I’m kidding (maybe)! I found this little gem over at Pulsipher Predilections. Kristina P. has a twisted, wicked sense of humor!

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Category: My Opinions, The Diva

About the Author ()

I'm Shan and I 'm the creator of The Asylum and a magnet for The Free Range Stupid™. I'm a little nutty, a lot sarcastic and pretty damn smart. I am also a graphic designer, blog coder, virtual assistant, free lance writer and can whip you up a killer resume, media kit or press release that would make others green with envy. Go to Skewed Design Studios to check out my services. You won't be disappointed.

Comments (15)

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  1. Kristina P. says:

    Oh, don’t pretend like you don’t really want those tampons. My biggest issue with them is that if you are out and about, and you know, you need to change your tampon, what in the hell do you do with the old one? Blech.

    And I read today that the family of the Walmart employee is suing Walmart, and they are in the process of trying to figure out who was responsible for his death by looking at cell phone videos, etc. So sad.

  2. ChicagoLady says:

    I agree, it’s really sad what this world has come to when people are trampled just to get into a store for a few deals. Parents that take their kids to Toys R Us and take a gun with them, should not be allowed to be parents. Very sad stories.

    I won’t mind you taking a monthly shower, unless your blog starts having a scent widget, lol.

    REUSABLE tampons? How many ways can I say ewwwwwwwwww!

  3. Christa says:

    I came over looking for demon cat photos but I left with something better – reusable tampons. HYSTERICAL!

  4. TuTu's Bliss says:

    LOL The world needs more sarcasm, love it!! I’m with you on Black Friday. I was watching the horror from home in utter shock.

  5. TuTu's Bliss says:

    LOL The world needs more sarcasm, love it!! I’m with you on Black Friday. I was watching the horror from home in utter shock.

  6. TuTu's Bliss says:

    Almost forgot, I thought those were mice!! I will never look at a tampon the same again

  7. TuTu's Bliss says:

    Almost forgot, I thought those were mice!! I will never look at a tampon the same again

  8. Julia says:

    That was insanely funny. And totally sad at the same time. Great blog. I hate walmart and we’ve banned shopping there for almost as long as the’ve been in business. As for the carnage to the dolls….not to worry. My son went though a phase where he told me daily how he would run me down with an excavator and crunch up the house with a rototiller and much much worse. But he has mostly gotten over it. I though he was on the path to being a murderer for a while there. Please DO NOT use those tampons. I’m beggin’ you.

  9. Shan says:

    I am not alone!!! Yay!!

    I told those voices in my head that other people would talk to me!

    ChicagoLady – I AM getting a scent widget. This is a fully interactive, realistic blog! LOL

    Julia – but what would all my new, rich environmentally conscious friends think if i didn’t go full boar into the “green life”? That would have to include feminine care products, dontcha know?

    Kristina – YOU are the one who found the tampons in the first place!!

    TuTu – how could you mistake those for mice?? BTW, thanks for becoming my follower. *hugs*

    Christa – glad you enjoyed. Demon Possessed Cat pics coming soon…

  10. LMAO!!!

    That Kristina is one deliciously sick puppy!! I love her too, lol! But then again, who doesn’t????

  11. Court says:

    Preach on sister. I’ve been ranting and raving about the Toys R Us shooting myself. Seriously. What is wrong with people? Great post.

  12. Yaya says:

    That doll thing totally reminded me of the episode of Ghost Whisperer last night.

  13. Sara Elizabeth Bonds says:

    Kids were killed on Black Friday!? Freaking crazy women, I swear. I cannot believe how women get sometimes. That is too sad. Too, too sad.

  14. Kids were killed on Black Friday!? Freaking crazy women, I swear. I cannot believe how women get sometimes. That is too sad. Too, too sad.

  15. Jessica says:

    Children do the darnedest things. Riping the heads of dolls–hummm, makes you think.

    I HATE shopping on Black Friday. I have done it a couple times. I do search for a great deal, but not at that expense. I would rather pay just a bit more.

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