Snarky, Snarky!: Conversations With My Daughter.

[ 4 ] January 24, 2009 |
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This is just a little sample of conversations that occur in my house. With The Diva. And me, her Mama. And how I try very hard not to laugh and to be stern with her so that I can teach her that being a smart~ass to her parents isn’t acceptable. I am failing miserably. She got my sarcasm gene.

Me: Rowan, stop that.

The Diva: OK, Mommy. I will.

Me: Rowan, I said stop that. Right now.

The Diva: But I have to!

Me: No, Rowan you don’t have to. The only thing you have to do is what Mommy and Daddy tell you to do.

The Diva: Oh noooo I don’t!

Me: Rowan, stop it. NOW. Or I will beat you like an unwanted, red headed step~child.

The Diva: OH, no you won’t!

Me: Oh, yes. I will.

The Diva: Oh, no you won’t!

Me: Child, do not mess with me. Do you want a spanking?

The Diva: NOOOOO! You can’t catch me! Nenernenerner! (as she takes off running)

When I do catch her, she always says the same thing, “Mommy, don’t spank me. I’m sorry. I will never, ever do it again.” OY! She always does. Even after a spanking. I don’t know about this kid. I think we got the only child in this world without any pain receptors in her butt. If this is what age 3, almost 4 is like, I think I am completely screwed for her hormone raging teen years.

Another typical conversation…

Me: Rowan, move your butt, please. (trying to get her to move out of the way for one reason or another)

The Diva: Like this? (as she is shaking her booty)

Me: (Laughing and trying not to let her know I think it’s cute) No, Rowan. I meant move out of the way, please.

The Diva: Sorry! (laughing)

This is what I deal with every day. My daughter is all at once endlessly entertaining AND insanity inducing frustrating. This is my life. I love my daughter “to the moon and back”. I wouldn’t change a thing. I just wish I had a little more company for the ride to the asylum!

P.S.: Video of Rowan is coming. Hopefully by the end of this week~end.


Category: The Diva

About the Author ()

I'm Shan and I 'm the creator of The Asylum and a magnet for The Free Range Stupid™. I'm a little nutty, a lot sarcastic and pretty damn smart. I am also a graphic designer, blog coder, virtual assistant, free lance writer and can whip you up a killer resume, media kit or press release that would make others green with envy. Go to Skewed Design Studios to check out my services. You won't be disappointed.

Comments (4)

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  1. ChicagoLady says:

    Cute but frustrating when children get that gene causing them to sass their parents.

  2. LadyStyx says:

    Im with Chicago…(said as I stifle a little laugh)

  3. Thandi says:

    She sounds like my 2yr old girl! She has no pain receptors LOL.

  4. Don’t you HATE IT when they are so stinkin’ cute and so naughty at the same time???? The Bella cracks me up on a real regular basis – thank God!

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