The One Where I Let Her Go To Her First Sleepover

I thought I had more time. I didn’t think I would be faced with this particular situation quite yet. I thought maybe it would happen next year, not in kindergarten. But I have agreed, with great trepidation, to allow The Diva to have a sleepover at a classmate’s house tomorrow night. I am still not sure how I feel about this, but I know that I cannot shelter my baby forever. I have to let her grow. I have to let her experience things outside our little family and sometimes without my presence and watchful eye. With the exception of her stay in the NICU, she has never stayed over night anywhere without either myself or Daddy with her. I’m not sure how to deal with this new activity.

According to my friend, Amanda, I am feeling all the normal Mom fears about my baby sleeping at someone else’s house. The little girl is very sweet and her grandparents, whom she lives with, seem nice and normal. The Grandfather even invited us over to check out the house before the sleepover. Amanda says that people who have something to hide won’t offer that kind of inspection. I’m still not sure, but My Husband says it’s alright with him, so here we are.

Or rather here I am.

A little scared. A lot out of my comfort zone. And worried.

The Diva isn’t exactly normal. And while her idiosyncrasies are all at once endearing and frustrating to us, I don’t know how this family will perceive them. Or her. What if they think she’s weird? Or she has a meltdown? or she can’t sleep because it’s not her bed and she misses her Mama? What if she gets made fun of because of something she does at their house? Will that irrevocably damage her? What if she gets hurt?

What if she doesn’t miss me?

What if she has the best time ever and she starts comparing their house to ours? Or the other little girl’s toys to hers? What if she wants to stay there forever because it’s so much better than our house? Or she likes the grandparents better than us?

What if…?

And here I am.

Still.

My baby is growing up and friendships and sleepovers are a part of every little girl’s life. I know this. And I want her to have them. I loved sleepovers. I had many slumber parties as a girl. They were lots of fun. Nearly every weekend, I had a friend stay the night. And we bonded. And we laughed. And we did girl stuff.

I want this for The Diva, I do.

I just thought I had more time before I had to make this first decision. She’s only five. Well, almost six, really.

I made the mistake of blinking.

Just for half a second.

And here we are.

She’s growing up.

In the blink of an eye.

Tomorrow she spends an entire night away from everything she has ever known. She is so excited that she can’t stop talking about it.

And Mama has knots in her stomach.

Tags: Mama's Fears, Sleepover, The Diva

Category: The Diva