Cussing In Gaelic: Happy St. Patrick’s Day!

Póg mo thóin and Éirinn go Brách!

That means kiss my ass and Ireland forever, for those of you not familiar with the Gaelic language. I cuss in Gaelic. It’s fun. I’m Irish, I should know my native tongue, right? Oh, yes, and Happy St. Patrick’s Day to all.

I’m nearly 100% Irish and this means that…

And I don’t have to do the wearin’ o’the Green today so if you…

I do, however, want one of these little fellas cuz he’s kind of retro cool and  I’ll make the rat bastard tell me where he hid that damn pot o’gold.

And yes, Leprechauns ARE cooler than midgets {See above}

If any of you plan on celebrating this fine Irish holiday, it may benefit you to learn some Gaelic phrases that could help you during the festivities:

• To order a beer, say “Pionta Guinness, le do thoil” {A pint of Guinness, please!}
• When you’re feeling amourous, say “Tabhair póg dom, táim Éireannach” {Kiss me, I’m Irish!}
• When checking on the well being of your companions, say, “An bhfuil tú ar meisce fós?” {Are you drunk yet?}
• When you need to be specific about what beer you are ordering, say “beor uaine” {Green beer}
• When you’ve had enough Guinness and green beer for the day, say “uisce beatha” {Whiskey}
• When you’re feeling a bit saucy and brave from the libations you’ve ingested, say “Póg mo thóin (Éireannach)” {Kiss my Irish ass!}
• When you must identify what is floating all around you, say “seamróg” {Shamrock}
• When someone asks you how you are feeling and you must be honest, say “ar meisce” {Drunk}
• When you’re feeling the Luck o’the Irish after all those beers and whiskey, say “Beannachtaí na Féile Pádraig oraibh!” {A St. Patrick’s Day blessing upon you!}

Here is a freebie bit o’Irish advice for the men out there:

Ná glac pioc comhairle gan comhairle ban. {Never take advice without a woman’s guidance.}

STAY SAFE, all. No drinking and driving!

I’ve written a St. Pat’s Day post every year since I began blogging in 2008. I’m not sure I can say much more than I have said previously, so I’m posting one of my favorites from 2010.

Today, if you are seeing lots of these…

You’ve had too many of these…

And need to stop doing this…

Or people will start calling you this…

You will then want to start some rumbles, when all you’ll really be doing is…

Please don’t drink and drive. You’ll spill your drink.

An Irish Blessing

May the road rise up to meet you,
May the wind be always at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
The rains fall soft upon your fields.
And until we meet again,
May God hold you in the palm of his hand.

May God be with you and bless you:
May you see your children’s children.
May you be poor in misfortune,
Rich in blessings.
May you know nothing but happiness
From this day forward.

May the road rise up to meet you
May the wind be always at your back
May the warm rays of sun fall upon your home
And may the hand of a friend always be near.

May green be the grass you walk on,
May blue be the skies above you,
May pure be the joys that surround you,
May true be the hearts that love you.

Tags: Gaelic Phrases, Leprepimp, St. Patrick's Day

Category: I Got Your Funny Right Here!