Tips For Surviving The Zombie Apocalypse

We all need tips for surviving the Zombie Apocalypse. Pay close attention and you will learn the best ways to kill, hide from and distract Zombies so that you can make a safe get away. I’m not kidding. These are skills we all need to have. No one knows when this will happen so it’s best to be prepared. Californians know this well. We’ve been preparing and bracing for The Big One since I was child. So far it hasn’t happened, but we all have earthquake survival kits in our houses.

Think about it, how likely is it that there will be some kind of super-virus that annihilates most of society sometime in the future? Considering that a virus can spread worldwide at an alarming rate, it actually is very likely. Even the CDC has an article on how to survive the Zombie Apocalypse and what to expect from them when it happens. This is not a joke. They actually wrote this themselves.

I say zombies are more dangerous a threat to civilization than 2012 or earthquakes.

But I’m weird.

And usually right about this stuff.

So there.

Or you can just trip your real friends so that they get eaten while you go on to help eradicate those smelly zombies and repopulate the world. Because that’s what real friends do…they sacrifice themselves in order to let you live.

My Husband and I love SciFi. We also have a thing for Zombies. Since last year, we have been watching AMC’s The Walking Dead. It’s a great show. With Zombies. Although, I must admit, I wasn’t always so keen on them. Or anything horror related, for that matter. Horror movies scare the shit out of me. And where did my husband take me on our first date? To see Halloween #something! I had my face buried either in my hands or his shoulder the whole time.

When I was pregnant, he took me to see not one, but TWO zombie movies. The first was Dawn Of The Dead, the second was Shawn Of The Dead.

I was pregnant. With his daughter.

When she was a baby and I needed a break one night, I left him to care for The Diva for about an hour. When I came back, I heard NOTHING. No noise, no crying. I was concerned. I walked in the bedroom to find him sitting on the bed with the baby in his arms while watching DAWN OF THE DEAD. I almost blew a gasket thinking he was going to warp my infant daughter’s succeptible mind.

But Ro was perfectly quiet and transfixed on the screen.

I still think that her young mind was somehow damaged by that movie. But I probably won’t know the answer to that until she’s a teenager.

Pray for me.

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