Dear Idiot Parents,

[ 44 ] November 28, 2010 |

Yes, I am talking to YOU, Idiot Parents. The parents that raise ill-mannered, spoiled rotten, entitled children to be whiny, can’t live in the real world, me-me-me adults. Yes. I said it. You and your disrespectful children is what’s wrong with this country today.

I am sick to death of seeing children who have no respect for anyone else, feel that it is Ok to tell an adult to fuck off when the adult is telling them to get off their property, or can’t even muster the simplest attitudes of politeness. I once had a child about seven years old come up to me and ask me why I was yelling at my daughter. Oh yes, yes he did. I was disciplining my child for running through the aisles at the grocery store. She was not happy about being strapped into the shopping cart. I told that little brat that it was none of his business and he needed to learn some manners. I said this in full earshot of his parents who looked at me with a combination of embarrassment {For themselves} and attempted righteous indignation {For me}.

Here’s the deal, you need to stop with all that touchy-feely, everyone’s a winner, let me give you the latest electronic toy and never discipline your kids bullshit. Teach your kids some damn manners. Hell, why don’t you learn some yourself? They say children learn what they see, right? So you need to start at home. And discipline them. If they need to learn a lesson, teach it to them. Don’t do that “Oh I can’t hurt their inner child by telling them they lost or disappointed me”. {Side note: My inner child is a twisted, sarcastic little shit.}

That’s a crock of steaming shit.

And a cop out for parents who don’t want to actually raise their own kids. Then when they end up drug addicts or sociopaths who shoot up the high school, they blame the school, society, the music or television.

Give me a break!

I am a former psych nurse. I worked in the California State Prison system. I dealt with hardened criminals with psychiatric disorders. I believe in psychiatry, medical science and the correct pharmaceuticals to treat diseases/disorders of the brain. I don’t believe in psycho-babble or the New Age parenting crap. But I have also seen what raising a child with a sense of entitlement or absentee parenting does, and it ain’t pretty. Continue to do this and you, too, can have the privilege of visiting your child in a prison visitation room. Won’t that be nice?

Engage with your children. Teach them that life is not always kind and they will get hurt, be disappointed and not always get what they want. But also teach them the power of perseverance, learning from their mistakes, manners, respect for others and working for what they want. Stop plopping them down in front of the video games or computer and play with them. Take away their cell phones. Stop the texting. Talk to them. Read to them. TEACH THEM.

Throw away all those New Age psycho-babble bullshit parenting crap books and just be present. Don’t Ferberize your babies, don’t give your kids awards just for participating on a sports team. Teach them about life. Teach them that team work is good, but they aren’t always going to win. Stop letting others raise your kids. If you have a child, raise that child.

You need to teach your kids right from wrong. And for the love of God, stop letting your little girls dress like a pedophile’s dream! I do not care if your daughter’s favorite singer dresses like a streetwalker. It is not Ok for a little girl to dress, act or talk like she is practicing to get on a pole, mm’kay? And if your daughter’s favorite singer dresses like she just got off the pole or boulevard, maybe you ought to rethink what music you let her listen to, dont’cha think? Unless you want your child to end up on 16 and Pregnant or Teen Mom.

And another thing, how about you all just let your kids be kids and not mini-yous? If mom dresses like she just got off The Track, the likelihood is that little Sally dresses that way, too. You’re going to have issues with your daughters and early sexual exploration. And it will be your fault, Grandma.

One last thing…

Your ill-mannered, disrespectful children are likely engaging in cyber bullying. There are FaceBook pages called flame pages where bratty little shits bully other kids for no other reason than that it’s fun for them. If your child didn’t start the page, I’ll guarantee you that they have commented on it and helped spread the hate. And the parents that raised these little assholes are the reason they think it’s alright to do something so heinous. They think “Hey, it’s only on the Internet. No one really gets hurt. And I can do whatever I want anyway. I’ll never get in trouble for it”.  Well guess what? The kids that are the targets of these flame pages are getting hurt. Some are even ending up committing suicide over the bullying.

And if you think for one hot second that the bullying stays only on the Internet, you have another think coming.

These poor kids are getting ostracized at school, at the mall, wherever they go that the bullies also hang out. The Internet simply lets them spread the bullying to a wider audience where the words, doctored photos and rumors can be seen worldwide. It will never go away. The Internet is forever. And the parents of the bullies do nothing. They say “Kids will be kids” or “It’s no big deal”. Why don’t you tell that to the parents of the children who killed themselves over your child “just being a kid”, huh?

It is not alright to make fun of anyone else because they are gay, have bad skin, bad hair, talk funny, dress differently or are just plain different. None of that is ever OK nor is it just kids being kids. You have raised bullies, either because your kids are entitled little bastards or you are a bully yourself. I will bet you dollars to doughnuts that if the kid doing the bullying was the one being bullied, their idiot parents would be all kinds of enraged over it.

Get the point yet?

I’m sure I can’t be the only one who feels this way about other people’s bratty, entitled children. Or about cyber bullying. But I am certain that I have offended someone with this post. And you know what? I don’t really care. This needed to be said. It needs to be repeated over and over again, until this kind of parenting ceases to exist and kids are raised with respect, manners and a healthy sense of accomplishment by working for it.

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Category: My Opinions, The Free Range Stupid

About the Author ()

I'm Shan and I 'm the creator of The Asylum and a magnet for The Free Range Stupid™. I'm a little nutty, a lot sarcastic and pretty damn smart. I am also a graphic designer, blog coder, virtual assistant, free lance writer and can whip you up a killer resume, media kit or press release that would make others green with envy. Go to Skewed Design Studios to check out my services. You won't be disappointed.

Comments (44)

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  1. Shan, from Northern California, you should be hearing me applauding you! This post was spot on. I don’t allow my kids to throw a tantrum in public if they aren’t getting their way. My wife and I also will either go together shopping or one of us will stay home with the lil one. either way, we plan ahead to make sure others aren’t irritated by our two year old when it’s time to throw a fit.

    And yes, parents need to get rid of the lovey dovey everyone wins BS. I’ve lost many sports games, but i’ve also won many too. Parents need to be a coach of life. My coach would sure as hell tell us when we were being lazy and didn’t play as a team. he’d then follow it up with a “this is how we will do better next time”.

    When I didn’t make the soccer team the first three years in HS, my mom didn’t say “well, they should have put you on the team!” she said “well, get your ass out there, get into better shape, improve your ball handling skills, and improve your reflexes”. My Senior year, I won All League goalie. I didn’t just win, I earned the shit outta that award!

    anyways, I could rant for days, but simple, you are correct, parents need to Man/Woman up and realize being a parent means raising your child. You can be their friend but first you have to be a parent. My mom always said “If you never think i’m unfair, then odds are I’m not doing my job properly.”

    • Shan says:

      Why thank you, Justin! I appreciate the compliment.

      There should be more parents like you out there. I think it’s funny that you feel that way, being as Northern California is the capital of touchy-feely, can’t discipline the kid, we may damage his inner child New Age BS parenting. LOL Kudos to you and your mom for not falling into that line of thinking!

      And tell your mom that she’s right. 😀

  2. well, Those who are in this part of california think that NorCal starts in Chico and ends at the Oregon Border. It doesn’t get more republican up here IMO. I think us NorCal’ers think that socal is the touchey feeley part of california. Nonetheless, parents who don’t have the balls to discipline their kids need not be parents.
    Justin Iiams recently posted..Veterans day by a VeteranMy Profile

    • Shan says:

      Well I know for sure that Napa Valley and the rest of the wine country (including San Francisco) is all that New Age touchy-feely crap. And anything that includes Berkeley or Davis. The Mexican gang members in the prison consider anything above Fresno NorCal and below SoCal. So that is where my perspective comes from LOL

      Interesting to find that your area is Republican. You are kind of sandwiched between the super Liberals of Oregon and the Ca wine country/San Fran area, aren’t ya? LOL

  3. Did I tell you lately that I love you?

  4. Jessi J. says:

    Thanks Shan! I agree totally!

    1) The internet has totally killed social etiquette…

    2) parents need to take responability!

    3) The brats in my neighborhood have me sounding like an 80 yrold cranky woman! And I hate it!

    Thanks for keeping me in good company! At least I know I’m not alone!!

  5. Amanda says:

    You know, some basic English skills wouldn’t hurt either. I know college profs who make their tests multiple choice because they just can’t stand to read what these kids write when they have tests where they actually have to fill in the answer themselves.
    Amanda recently posted..“Deck the Walls” at The Coffee Bean and Tea LeafMy Profile

    • Shan says:

      LOL Yes, well, texting and social media has killed and butchered the English language. I fear for this country’s future.

      Fear for it.

      And it’s not just because of Obama and the Super Liberals, either..

  6. Katie says:


    And I’m all for starting manners early. My daughter has to say thank you for anything anyone gives her, even the sticker at Target or the lollipop at the liquor store (uh, yeah, she now ASKS to go to the liquor store at age 2. Super.) and has to say please before she gets anything. And, as soon as she learns how to write, she will be learning how to write thank you notes for gifts she receives. Not many people do that anymore.

    • Shan says:

      Good manners is like having a strong foundation under your house…a cracked one gives you a myriad of problems. Just as a lack of manners creates a self-centered rude person.

      And yes, Ro MUST say please and thank you or she has to go back and apologize to the person THEN say please and/or thank you.

      It’s all about good manners, people!

  7. Tonya says:

    Love this post!

    I am doing a research paper on cyberbullying and your post came up during one of my keyword searches and I have to say this post is brilliant!

  8. Timmy says:

    I dont understand who exactly who you are trying to offend because you have no right to tell people that their children are bad kids

    • Shan says:

      Clearly you did not get the point of the post.

    • mary stewart says:

      Timmy dear, you are totally incorrect. WE all have a right to feel safe and secure whether its a mental safety or physical safety. At one time, believe it or not, your neighbors told on you when you misbehaved in the neighborhood. Your parents disciplined you and made you regret your bad behavior. Some parents appreciated being told about their kids antics when they were not there. The offense is seeing kids do wrong, pick on others or just be mean for no reason and look the other way. You will be surprised how they walk away when told they should stop. You don’t need to be threatening or confrontational, just a person who looks out for the underdog. YES, we do have a right to tell you and anyone else your child is bad.

    • Tiffany says:

      You are one of those stupid people no? There’s no oh you don’t have the right to say someone else’s kid is a brat see this is something that obvious needs to urgently be addressed people need to stop covering their shit up and need to own up to being either horrible parents because they don’t care how their kids act or parents that just don’t know how to properly and are not fit to raise a child people need to grow the fuck up and own up and stop being so lazy

  9. Given U Coue says:

    So,someone does not agree with you and you say they did not understand or get the point? Respect is earned and you passed up a great opportunity to perhaps show that and instead you choose to be a petulant adult. How did screaming at a child entitle you to respect just because you are an adult? I think THAT is part of this countries problems. If you can;t show children that respect is earned,they will grow up like you,angry and demanding things they have not earned! Each to his own I suppose but I taught my child differently and she is in college early,respected by teachers, backed by a congressman and more mature then most adults I know. best of luck. I do hope people reading your story take something from it that is helpful.

    • Shan says:

      Petulant? Really. Children who were raised correctly will not question a parent disciplining their own child. PERIOD. That child was not being respectful of ME, so that child needed to be told it was none of his business. His parents certainly weren’t going to do it. I did not scream at him. I said it firmly and with authority. No screaming was involved. And yes, this country’s problem IS that children are being raised as spoiled, disrespectful little shits. These kids are going to grow up and run this country someday. I, for one, want the people in charge to know how the real world works and how to show and earn respect from people. I am well respected because my parents taught me how to EARN it. They also taught me who deserves respect and who does not.

      I have not met one teen in the last 3 years who has even the slightest modicum of social graces or manners. They think they are ENTITLED to do and say as they please. That is THE PARENTS fault. If I was disrespectful to an adult, my Dad would have whipped my ass. You just do not do those things. You say please, thank you, excuse me and you respect your elders. You also WORK for what you want; it doesn’t get handed to you. If more parents would teach the basics of politeness and stop indulging their children, this world would be a much better place.

      • Given U Coue' says:

        I see. This is the “when I was a child” talk. Yes.Yes and Yawn. The fact that you were “yelling at your daughte in public” much less anywehger else is troubling and also a, how did you put it, idiot parent move. Way to teach your child how to behave when THEY are angry. You may not buy into new age “psycho babble” but it beats screaming and yelling at teens. WE are the adults and to scream back at a child or teen is immature and shows lack of an ADULT learned self control. You are aware that even though their pre- frontal cortex is still “dark” your is most likely “online.”

        You just seem angry and ready to blame all based on YOUR sole experiences.You keep stating “I” learned this and “I learned that. This is not a situation that is about you being self-centered, or should not be. Maybe it is where you live because in this neighborhood I hardly see that behavior and I would never yell at a child or teen as an adult because when you do, you are teaching them that yelling is the way to deal with anger, frustration and people. I have a degree in psychology (hence the name) and you have one on psych nursing, so you say. You and I know better. My theoretical orientation was behavior mod. so I am going on that knowledge. I am sorry you see the world as the type of place you describe. Good luck in that and i hope you find resolution with this issue.

        • Shan says:

          So you live in a utopian Stepford community, then? It must be nice to observe the world from your Ivory Tower — I hear it gives you a skewed vision of reality. Try venturing out into the real world and observing what society really acts like for a change. You will see exactly what I am talking about. Or maybe not, since you seem firmly ensconced in the psycho-babble that has ruined this country and produced this generation of entitled, spoiled kids.

          I never said I was yelling at my daughter. I said I was disciplining her in public and a child asked me why I was yelling at her. I was speaking firmly and with authority. That child considered it yelling because his parents probably never have any inflection in their own voices — that’s what the “I can’t actually discipline my child” school of parenting makes them do. Try reading what I actually wrote before you comment on it.

          You have a degree in psychology — good for you! I have one as well. That is what happens when you’re a double major in college, so yes I get the Coué reference – Émile Coué de la Châtaigneraie, father of the placebo effect and the mind over matter school of psychotherapy. Having a degree in psychology does not mean you are actually a psychologist. Just sayin’. And considering you have a holier-than-thou attitude, you would make a terrible therapist.

          I chose to go into nursing because I wanted to be hands-on with my patients.

          By the way, questioning my qualifications will only get you one thing here at my little piece of the web — banned from my site. Enjoy life in that Ivory Tower of yours. I’m sure you will fall hard from it sometime soon. Then where will you be seeing as how there is no possible way you can actually function productively in the real world?

          • Apocolocynthosis says:

            You are truly damaged. I see your picture with stop censorship and yet you do so with NO provocation and at the slightest hint someone disagrees with you. Typical behavior of a person needing complete control on the Internet because in real life they do not have even a modicum of control and their lives are disaffected and empty. Sweety, I see your type all the time. Very damaged.

            Yes, you have a crappy site with very little readers and your posts get made fun of on 4chan. You can threaten with impunity. I can see you are rather provincial also. LOL. You seek peer approval and can’t handle any questions to your life, ability to comprehend or to your “critical thinking and logic,” or lack of it. You acted like a puerile child when I just disagreed with you. All you have done is shown how you lack self esteem an replace it with bitter “humor.” Unbelievable.

            So, basically, you use this site to shut people down who disagree and use it to bully and get the last word? What a joke. People like you are liars and look for people to control. I pity you. Oh, being a self righteous rube get you only one thing…posted on another board for people to laugh at and point to your BS. Your last post is very telling.

            • Apocolocynthosis says:

              Oh, by the by, it is obvious you copy and pasted the name Emile Coue(as you posted it: Émile Coué) from whatever Google search you did to find out who it was. YOU are not fooling anyone. I bet anyone would get the reference AFTER, like you did, they looked it up. You know damn well you had no idea. At least remove the diacritics above the words you copy in French. You really are an angry beast, but we forgive you and will continue to laugh at your post. We are laughing that you think a double major is a big deal. Please get out in the real world and seek therapy for that anger. So full of yourself.

              • Shan says:

                Oh, you just made me laugh out loud! All of this coming from a person who admittedly hangs out on a site (4chan) known for all manner of pornography, including child porn, hackers, members who frequently demand women post pictures of their breasts or ‘GTFO’, mercilessly make fun of others for no other reason than it’s fun for them and demand that those who have posted things they disagree with or speak out against what is posted kill themselves?? REALLY? Yes, I went to the site. I saw what is posted there. It’s disgusting. It’s rife with cyber-bullying that you admittedly take part in.

                And you’re passing judgement on me?

                No, it seems you are the one who is truly damaged. I banned your original screen name and IP address, but you are so desperate that you used — or created — another persona just to post your latest diatribe. That certainly smacks of low self-esteem and extreme desperation to me. As for me not liking and banning people who disagree with me? Yeah, not so much. I’m all for a healthy discussion as long as it’s intelligent and polite. You are neither of those. I am very far from being a bully, self-righteous or a control freak. I believe everyone is entitled to their opinions, but I don’t have to entertain them if I choose not to do so. Nor do I have to allow them on my site once they become unruly or resort to childish name calling and low-blows. You, the one with that precious psychology degree you like to bandy about, should know that removing the toxic people and things from one’s life is good for the psyche.

                And that’s the wonderful thing about freedom and the 5th Amendment — I get to choose who I converse with, what my opinions are and how I live my life.

                This is my site and therefore everything I write is my personal opinion. No one is forced to agree with me, but you clearly believe everyone must agree with you in order to be worthy.

                I have nearly 68k page views and over 378k hits per month on this site (Awwstats is pretty awesome). I would not consider that “very few” readers.

                And no, I didn’t copy and paste Coué’s full name, although I’m sure you did. I typed it all out — because I already knew who he was and his role in modern psychology. The blogging platform I use has this nifty thing that lets you add special characters to your text. Isn’t technology wonderful?

                I have a pretty great life. Actually, my life is damn good — not perfect — but I am well blessed.

                The only person you should pity is yourself. You are self-righteous, self-aggrandizing and clearly without morals — you hang out at 4chan with pedophiles. How very sad that is! I’m glad you have a daughter who is doing so well. Good for her. What is shocking is that she has done so well considering she was raised by you.

                I suggest you take stock of your own life and your actions. Bullying random strangers on the internet is not something a mature person does nor is it the behavior of one who is, as you claim, so enlightened that you alone know the best way to raise a child and how people should and should not act in polite society. And neither is frequenting a site filled with hate, child porn and demands that the poor souls you bully commit suicide. If you are a practicing psychologist, your license should be revoked immediately for your shady online activities.

  10. Brittany says:

    Not that I disagree with you cause you know I don’t. I raise my kids with not just a firm hand but that hand is hardened steel baby. They know never to finish yes or no without a ma’am or sir etc. My kids will respect me and themselves. BUT I had to point out a flaw in the “ending up on Teen Mom” thing, because I was a pregnant teen and it had nothing to do with my attitude, parents or attire. But I’m playing semantics on that situation I suppose. 🙂 You know I love you.

    • Shan says:

      Yes, but this generation coming up thinks that teen pregnancy is all glamorized because of MTV. Hell they think acting like spoiled brats is Ok because of shows like Bad Girls Club & My Super Sweet Sixteen.

      At least we knew it wasn’t supposed to happen that way. The kids today don’t care. They have no idea what consequences are.

      • Brittany says:

        True. I think MTV could have done a much better job in displaying the realities of teenage pregnancy. Only reason I kind of like that show, because like me, sometimes teenage pregnancy doesn’t end up bad. Unfortunately though, teenagers aren’t provided much resources be it family, friends, school etc. I guess you can call me a teenager advocate. I think they deserve more credit then they get but they also do deserve a good ass beating too. LOL
        Brittany recently posted..Creative Writing – High SchoolMy Profile

  11. Jenny says:

    Today first time i visit on your blog and this is the first post which i read. I really impressed with your thinking and i wish to read more post of your blog from where can see the real thoughts of present generation.
    Jenny recently posted..Teenage pregnancy has detrimental consequencesMy Profile

  12. Lena says:

    I totally agree with you!! I am a teacher and have just about had it with the lowlife parents and their crappy kids. Mind you, I do have good kids, but there is that group that makes it bad for teachers. I try to teach, keep material meaningful, provide good feedback, but nooooooooooooooooooooooo.. You speak the truth!! Many of these stupid parents had their kids way too young and want to be their kids’ friends and not parents. AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

    • Shan says:

      I’m glad you agree. I have had several comments on this post calling me a “petulant adult” for my views on this. It always cracks me up and I know for damn sure the people leaving those comments are the ones who are raising the kids I was talking about. UGGGGHHH. Do they not know that these idiots are the ones that will be making the decisions about their nursing homes some day and running our country? I FEAR for the future of this world. Fear for it.

  13. Ana says:

    This is what I see on Dr Phil all the time crying boo hoo parents with entitled kids wondering why their kids are a fuck up but hey I gave them money to buy shoes not my fault if they buy drugs instead um derrrrrrrrr imbeciles! Common sense, discipline, manners,morals and values have poof flown the coop in our society these days. Then try to see these kids work in a real world where they have to be on time and actually work to earn money!! My son was praised his first couple of weeks at his retail job he actually worked hard and was on time!!! Holy Cow it’s a miracle a young man who was responsible enough to be happy to work for a living! I never gave my kids this “time out” bull crap. I am 4ft 11 all my children outgrew me by they were 12 yrs old. Believe me they knew who was their parent and who was the child. They are all grown up now and responsible adults with jobs have never been in the prison system and still respect their mother and father.It’s amazing what the old parenting against this new age bull does huh?

  14. mary stewart says:

    I have a grandson and granddaughter who are 15 & 16 that talk back, leave the house without saying anything and feel they do not owe anyone respect. Yet they speak of being disrespected when told to stop picking on their 10 year old sister or clean up their messes. I do not like them although I love them. They attend church where people think they are well behaved. They do not consider word for word back talk argumentative. Sullen and mean spirited do not begin to describe their behavior. They do not suffer from ADHD, they suffer from society telling parents not to use physical punishment as discipline. This generation of children are free falling into ruin. The movies, music and so called entertainment they are exposed to is not healthy. You have babies having babies being glorified. These teens treat their parents as though they have a right to bring an innocent into the world while they are ill prepared to cope with their own needs. Again thank you for this site. I have wanted to say something for the past 5 years about the state of our youth who are going astray.

    • Shan says:

      I think you need to school their parents on how to raise a child properly. It sounds like they are doing either the Ostrich Parenting (sticking their heads in the sand) or no discipline. Those kids are not going to make it well as adults if it keeps going like that and it will be us who has to pay for their inability to cope with life. One of the parents needs to step up and reign those kids in right quick.

      There will always be some amount of teen rebellion — it’s a part of growing up and finding your own way — but out and out disrespect and insubordination is not acceptable. Didn’t they used to send kids like that to schools for the incorrigible? Maybe we should bring those back for a while. 😀
      Shan recently posted..Top 10 Last Minute Valentine’s Gifts NOT To Buy For Your Woman. Unless You Want To Get Kicked In The Nuts.My Profile

  15. Camilla Curnow says:

    applause from someone who doesn’t have children. So many good parents are still out there, but the horrible ones are giving all parents a bad name. And what GAULS me is that the crappy ones are also the ones judging me for choosing not to have kids. The good, happy parents, don’t care and support my choice as my own. Any time I come across parents and children who have obviously been raised by parents who aren’t egocentrically trying to be their child’s “friend”, I try to chat with them and talk with kid and be part of the village. I want to support parents who PARENT.

    • Shan says:

      Now, see, you’re a good human. You chose not to have kids, but don’t begrudge those of us that chose differently. This country is all about freedom of choice and I support that as long as it isn’t breaking any laws or hurting others. I have several friends without children and they feel the same way you do. We need more people in this world who care about others and want to eradicate the parenting style that has ruined this society. Glad you’re part of the good fight. 🙂

  16. Jen says:

    I LOVE THIS! Best thing I ever read! Bravo!!!

    • Shan says:

      Why, thank you!

      • Jen says:

        I keep this bookmarked. You have said everything in retort to those who disagree that is what I would have said. I have dealt with disrespectful teenagers who think they can speak to adults in a very condescending way. I have two teenagers, both are very respectful of adults. They cannot stand children without manners themselves. I used to like children, but now, after working in several places where children are allowed to run around like fiends, kick adults in the shins, spit and make messes at will, without parents stopping them and then leaving it and walking away. It drives me crazy! They are teaching kids that they can do what they want and have no responsibilities or consequences for their actions.
        Also I believe there is a huge difference in using a firm voice and screaming. Besides, they need to learnt hat SOCIETY runs this way. If they cannot handle someone telling them what to do, taking responsibility for your actions, being respectful of elders, and a (GOSH!) FIRM voice, how will they ever be able to handle a job with a boss who can replace them in an instant these days? FOOD FOR THOUGHT. The world is not all about fuzzy clouds, unicorns and getting everything you want because you’re special!

        Off my soapbox now 🙂

  17. Debbie Welchert says:

    What a great post. I agree with everything you said. Boy if I said or did the things kids do now a days, I wouldn’t be able to sit down for a week. My daughter was bullied in school and I was told that boys will be boys or he’s had a rough life at home, by a teacher. And now the cycle goes on with her children being bullied at school. It’s never ending.

  18. Cristalake says:

    I am a HUGE believer in the “New-Age touchy-feely crap”. I was RAISED with the new-age touchy-feely crap and, guess what? I am touchy fucking feely. NOT a sociopath. There is nothing wrong with encouraging your child and avoiding classical discipline IF and only IF you are willing to spend the countless *hours* my mother spent explaining to me the hows and whys of why my actions were wrong.

    I was *extremely* rarely (to not say never) disciplined or scolded past the age of 8. As soon as I became self-aware enough to argue my point and add a semi-coherent “because” to my “It’s not fair!”, my mother began sitting me down to explain *why* my actions were wrong.

    Sometimes, the discussions lasted for literally hours. Nonetheless, it works. And you wind up with adults that don’t have “manners” because of some mindless tradition they were taught to follow as a child and had metaphorically beaten into their heads to obey but adults that have a mind of their own and *understand* and *choose* which manners and values to adopt.

    If I say please and thank you, it’s not because I was taught to do it. It’s because, after much discussion, I came to the conclusion that expressing humility and gratitude is The Right Thing To Do. And if my 7-year old sister had NEVER told someone she hates them and wants them dead after that one time she yelled it at a kid being mean to her in school, it’s because I damn well sat her down and took two hours out of my life to explain to her exactly what “hatred” means and what “death” is when she was six.

    So, yeah. Kids aren’t anywhere near as stupid as people think. At least, they aren’t until we make them that way. I believe in talking *with* children, not to or at them. However, I get that not everyone has that kind of time, patience and motivation so I’m not in total disagreement with this post. Kids are left to run wild a bit too much for my liking and I agree whole-heartedly that SOMETHING must be done to stop it.

    Personally, I’m all for regular two-hour long lectures/discussions on morality and ethics (some would say that’s punishment enough ;p), simplified for kiddies. I believe that children who understand *why* they shouldn’t do something are much less likely to do it. But! If stern disciplining works for you, then go for it! As long as your kids aren’t fucking savages (in both senses of the word “fuck”), sociopaths or abused, you’ve probably done okay. ;p

  19. My definition of idiotic parents are parents who let their kids do whatever they want,have whatever they want,parents who defend their kids at all costs,make lame excuses for them and/or are in “blind” denial if you complain to them about their kid(s)’ poor behavior and I consider parents to be inconsiderate idiots to expect or force everyone to treat their kids (even if they’re hard to relate to and/or prone to bad behavior) the exact way or even better the way people could treat kids that are better behaved and are easy to relate to.

    So my message to parents of troublesome kids and kids who I personally can’t relate to is that if you become friends or sociable to my family and if you want me to be civil to your kids it’s essentially fine but however you should respect my right to not interact well with your kids (even if I don’t totally ignore them) and not “bend over backwards” to please them (especially if they are a “handful”) and for that matter don’t ask me to show favoritism to your kids all because you are friends or sociable to my family and finally you shouldn’t get jealous if I won’t please your kids (even if I’m still civil to them) the exact way I could please better behaved kids who I can connect with.Now you know!

  20. jdog says:

    I am not a republican but I totally support every word of your column. I teach high school and you would not believe how standards of behavior have fallen . . . or maybe you would. The instant gratification culture is upon us. The self-esteem movement of the 70s and 80s has done terrible damage to whole generations. And the Internet is not helping. Thanks for an insightful and much-needed rant.

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